Today's the Big Day

My flight to Santa Clara leaves at 12:30. I spent last night doing a modified version of my usual pre-trip routine: laundry, dishes, packing. Not as extensive as usual, since I'm the only one leaving town, which feels a little weird after seven years of being a stay-at-home mom.

That's because when Megan was born, I was employed as a convention and meeting planner, and I used to leave the family quite often on business. And one of the very last events I managed was held at the Santa Clara Convention Center (which is next to the TechMart where BlogHer is being held) along with the Santa Clara Westin (which is where I'm staying for the next couple of days). Gareth drove me to the airport before that meeting, and I'll never forget how inconsolable then two-year-old Megan was when I handed her off to her father so I could get on the plane. She wanted Mommy, and she cried and cried and cried. And even though I knew that I would be giving my boss notice when this convention was over and I was back in Los Angeles, I felt guilty.

So guilty that when my week in Santa Clara was up and I was returning, I bought her a Beanie Baby cat at the San Jose Airport. That's the last time I was in Santa Clara and the San Jose Airport - until today.

At dinner last night, I told her about that, and how she got that Beanie Baby. And when she went to bed, that's the stuffed animal she slept with.

Another irony is that just prior to that Santa Clara trip, we were visited by my British sister-in-law's sister, Beverly. I was unable to spend much time with her. That was the last time anyone from the family in the UK has been in the L.A. area. Until this week, when we received an email that Tracey's brother, Nick, is in SoCal on holiday. We've been trying to make contact, and it's very likely that Gareth will be showing him around town without me this weekend. Weird.

Anyway -- one of the other things I did to prepare for BlogHer was to visit each and every attendee blog listed on the blogroll on the left side of this page. That's where I came across this challenge, posted by BlogHer Organizer Lisa Stone on her personal site:

Women bloggers, how do you want the world to learn about what you're creating -- if at all? Do you want to play by today's rules or change the game? Because, really, it's your call. Now that women represent between 43 percent and 56 percent of all bloggers, we're in familiar territory...

Let me be more specific. Here's the list of questions I'll ask in our opening debate on July 30, where Charlene Li and Halley Suitt will strap themselves into the hot-seat for 45 minutes. Take a shot at answering them yourselves or, if you prefer, add some you'd like to ask on July 30:

My answers are below.

The BlogHer Debate

1. Does the lack of links from link-counters and the so-called A-list represent real, institutional barriers to entry or contrived barriers to entry--economically, personally, professionally, culturally? Does the lack of links hurt/help/not affect women bloggers who seek to:

Gain professional recognition, credibility and rewards (including funding and community)?
Gain personal recognition and credibility and rewards (including readers and community)?
Generate revenue via advertising and/or sales?
Make a living?
Make a cultural change?
Advocate for an opinion or a perspective?

Of course it hurts those of us who want to be noticed. But I don't think it's institutional or contrived that way - it's just evolved. The good news is that this arena is still in its infancy and we are still able to affect change, which is why this conference is such a wonderful idea.

2. Does playing by the existing rules of blog link-counters shout down alternative, diverse and new voices? Are we participating in our own demise? Why/Why not?

Another good point, which I never thought about until I heard about BlogHer. I'm hoping the final session will help us brainstorm new ways to get heard.

3. Do we owe it to ourselves and/or other women to win this game even if we don't personally care about the lists? Could separate ever really make us equal? Why/Why not?

Well, that is so personal. I am just out here doing my own thing and not paying attention to lists, but I also feel solidarity with my gender, and I like to win. :) In other words, I'm happy right now, but could be happier - and am willing to try new things for the greater good.

4. If we want a meritocracy, do we need to code one ourselves? Let's rewrite the rules and/or write new code -- how do/don't you want to:

Tell the world about your blog?
Recruit the readers you're looking for?
Communicate the quality of your blog to readers?
Communicate the quality of your blog to potential sources of revenue?
No, no, no - these questions suck almost as much as the A-list!

Yes, I want to do all those things, even if the questions are making my head hurt! :) (Although I'm not so sure about the quality of this blog - sometimes, I post things I'm really proud of, but no one seems to notice, and then I think I sound like some conceited blowhard, like why would anyone be interested in what I have to say. And it's at those times I just want to quit. But other times I think I rock. This is just my typical seesawing frame of mind.)

5. What should BlogHer Conference '05 work to accomplish today and in the next year to help individual women gain reater visibility and/or learning and/or success, by new definitions?

Damn if I know - but I think BlogHer 05 has already accomplished a lot in getting the attention of some of the "big boys" and starting this debate.