I am at the California Women's Conference, but I'm not so busy that I couldn't find time to read this email funny from my sister:
TRUTHS FOR MATURE ADULTS
1. I think part of your very best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history or destroy any Weightwatcher's weigh-in charts if you die.
2. Nothing (almost) is more horrid than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.
5. Does anyone really know how to fold a fitted sheet? (I find this one especially ironic, as my sister is the one who gave me a book on housekeeping for my birthday one year... and it had a chapter on this topic!)
6. Was learning cursive handwriting really necessary--or having to memorize the Periodic Chart of the Elements for high school Chemistry?
7.. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
10. Bad decisions make for more interesting stories.
11. You never know when it will strike, but there come moments, especially when you are retired, and you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again. It was bad enough when I had to trash my eight-tracks.
13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page document that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
15. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.
16. I wish they would come up with a tiny, personal GPS that would tell me for what reason I'm now in the laundry room/pantry for the second time, and I can't remember why.
17. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
18. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" or, "Stop mumbling!" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
19. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! I
20. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. This is definitely a "Guy Thing!"
21. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not remember what time it is.
23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phones, searching for eyeglasses that are pushed up on their heads, but I'll bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!
24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first (hard) head helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brains could also be important.