An Invitation to the Poorhouse

At the end of one of Megan's gym sessions last week, she brought me a letter. It read:

INVITATION to join the Team.

Your daughter has worked hard and made respectable progress.

The 2005 Level 4-6 competition season is in front of us (Sep-Nov).

If your daughter is interested in experiencing the exhilaration and excitement of taking part in gymnastics competition and if you are willing to support her desire, please return the attached form requesting an orienttion date before you make your final decision to accept the invitation for your daughter to join the girls gymnastics team.

The letter went on to stress that there were no guarantees that any of our daughters would make it to the Elite ranks of gymnasts (DUH), but that the "values that children attain through competitive experience far outweight the struggle that comes along with being a competitor."

And it mentioned an orientation meeting where the parents of the invited girls would receive a copy of the gym's by-laws and "information important to understand the obligations expected of the families of team gymnasts."

That meeting was last night.

OH MY GOD.

They handed out a packet with the following:

1. A description of the Team Obligations
2. Gym By-Laws
3. Medical Evaluation Form
4. Photographic Release Form
5. Guidelines for Parents of Young Athletes
6. Travel Policy and Procedures for National Qualifying Meets

and finally, a contract for all team parents to sign.

We talked about the obligations and the financial commitment. Here are some highlights:

• Tuition: $330 per month
• Annual Registration fee: $40
• One time new member fee: $105.00
• One time Building and Equipment fund donation: $120.00
• Annual fundraising commitment: $250 (in the form of raffle tickets we must sell)
• Time commitment to work at all meets hosted at our gym (you can get out of this commitment for $1,000)

We've already coughed up the entry fee for a practice meet Megan will be attending on Aug. 21. There will be official meets every weekend from September 17 through October 9. Fee deadlines for those begin next week. Should she make it all the way to the State finals, the fees for the meets will cost $240. On top of that, for each meet, each gymnast will have to pay a "coach fee" that has not been determined.

Megan's commitment to work out at the gym -- which was only 90 minutes a week a year ago -- will be 15 hours a week (as it has been all summer).

I walked out of that meeting feeling shell shocked. I knew it was going to be expensive. I knew that there would be a time commitment. But this was the first time I saw it all on paper.

There will be no time - or money - for anything else. She was going to start Hebrew school this year, but I don't see any way we can manage it. Neither can our budget.

My daughter has worked hard for this and wants it so bad. She would be heartbroken if - after getting this far - we pulled the rug out from under her. I'm not going to do that to her. We're in.

I don't think I can afford the luxury of holding down a "part time" school job that pays next to nothing. I am going to have to find a "real" job. One that will probably will still pay me far less than I think I'm worth because I will still need to be able to pick her up from school at 2:30. And the flexibility to be home with her when she's sick.

Kind of like I feel right now.

Comments

[Jen]

Egad! It's time to contact that Autism research foundation and offer to be their medical editor.

Good grief! Wow, honey, let's talk.

[Kari]

When I was younger, I did competitive dance. My parents spent enormous amounts of money on it. But the memories I have of performing and competition are priceless. Congratulations to Megan! You'll find a way for the $.

[Denise]

Sigh. I feel your pain and your frustration (and your pride in having a daughter who is this serious about something).

I don't have any significant suggestions or anything, just wanted to acknowledge that people are listening and can relate.

:-)

[JenniferS]

Wow, that's a lot of money and time! Reminds me why I haven't been anxious for my kids to join any kind of organized sport!!!

[DrumsnWhistles]

Both of my kids have been competitive dancers; my daughter still is.

I completely, totally and utterly feel your pain. It's so hard to want them to have these opportunities and know at the same time that it means doing absolutely nothing else while they're involved. Good luck to your daughter -- and to you. :)

[Laurie]

Wow!

[Donna]

Kari: Thanks. I am hopeful that when all is said and done that she will feel she gained much from this experience. We'll see if her love affair with the sport continues after a season of competition.

Denise: Thanks.

I figured I could talk about it on the blog and other parents would understand! :)

Jennifer: Now you know why I needed to withdraw a bit more from PTA.

Please don't hate me when I start flashing those raffle tickets around. They gave us $25 worth to sell a couple of weeks ago, and I just bought them myself. But with a $250 commitment - on top of what we're already spending there - I really am going to have to start bothering my family and friends. :<

Drums: Hi - Thanks for commenting on my blog. It is always nice to hear from someone else who's "been there."

I also wanted to let you know that I spent way too much time visiting your blog last night. I LOVE your writing!

[Keri]

Ouch! My daughter was in competitive gymnastics for a short time but had to choose when it began to interfere with music. Now she is heavily into marching field show competitions which is far less expensive but I feel your pain!

[Amy]

*Fingers in ears, humming loudly, "I'm not litening, I'm not listening."

My oldest is just now starting Kindergarten. We're just coming out of the daycare is so freaking expensive. I don't even want to talk about activity fees yet... Grrrr.... I feel your pain...

[Lorna]

Isn't it awful how we have to make choices like this? Balancing potentially wonderful experiences for our children against money and personal time. I used to wish that they'd lower the drivers' license age to 9 so that Em could take herself to the gym.....