The Importance of Keeping Your Mouth Shut

I did a bad thing today.

It was at Megan's gym.

It was the last day for the first of the coaches who are leaving this month. The mood in the gym was sad. All of us with daughters who worked with this young woman are happy for her, but sorry to see her go. There was a cake and presents and after the workout, most of us gathered for a good-bye dinner, even though it was late and a school night.

That's not the bad thing I did.

No, my crime was talking too much. One of the boys' team moms -- who has been away for over a week while her son competed at Regionals in Hawaii -- noted her surprise at seeing us there tonight. She had heard all the rumors that we were already gone. And she said she was happy to see we were not.

And that's when the floodgates opened. After our flirtation with the other gym (and the realization that discretion was not possible in this arena), I forgot about being circumspect, and I talked -- honestly and openly -- about our tryout, why we are staying -- and why losing our wonderful coaches prompted me to see if the grass was greener somewhere else.

But I also made some comments about another parent who has been driving me up the wall -- and was not there to defend herself.

If one phone call to a coach at another gym could be immediately communicated to the population at large... I have a feeling this parent already knows exactly what I was saying about her.

I grew up in a very confrontational household. Kids with parents who are always in people's faces either learn to fight back directly -- or become passive-agressive, like me. When this woman started badmouthing our gym to other parents, I should have spoken up. Instead, I crossed my fingers that she would get so fed up with the perceived problems that she would leave. When she began an active campaign to get some of the coaches fired, I defended them -- but did not tell this woman off to her face. She is a drama queen -- and having grown up surrounded by drama, I do all I can to avoid it.

I try very hard to be a nice person. I like most people, and if I don't like someone, I just stay away. In this case, limiting contact isn't really possible. And I'm afraid that the drama I want to avoid will be waiting for me on Friday when Megan is back at the gym. And I deserve it.

Comments

[DrumsNWhistles]

Well, allow me to join you in the hot water, because I am in it too. My sin was daring to post video of my kid playing with someone fairly well-known.

I've had nasty video takedown notices, phone calls and the whole nine yards. I am now considered a bootlegger.

At least you're willing to own it. I'm still just pissed and defensive...no apologetic streak has crossed my mind yet. It would be better for everyone if I just ate crow and said I was sorry, which is what I suspect you will do.

On the other hand, maybe this parent needs to hear what you had to say...and if you are confronted, you should apologize for not being direct, but not for what you said?

[TheFlyingEnchilada]

I'm with DrumsNWhistles. Sometimes things just need to be said. If you believe in what you said, why be sorry for it. Like Drums said maybe apologize for not being direct but not for what u said.

[FRECTIS]

Knowing our days were numbered at the gym we go to and all the nasty things that were said about my husband from a big-mouthed-busy-body-coach, I decided to put it back on the moms with mouths. I chirped all their gossip right back at them. They were pretty good at trying to pretend they had no idea what I was talking about but I could see the gossip machinery churning. As it turns out, that was the last day I was ever there, didn't plan it that way, but it sent me off with a bang ;)

Gymnastics clubs are such unhealthy social groups!