Brangelina's Babies and Me

This week, I am enjoying my 15 minutes of fame: If you turn to page 128 of this week's People magazine, you will find a picture of ME, standing in front of my Wii Fit.

At least, I think that's what you'll see, because I haven't been able to get my hands on the issue yet. The reporter who interviewed me let me know last week that the article was on the publication schedule, but it's been postponed a few times before, so I wasn't holding my breath. (The interview and photos were done back in May!) Besides, I thought the magazine might send me an advance copy when it was published. Silly me.

So when I saw this cover at the supermarket on Monday, I didn't bother picking it up. And yesterday, when I discovered the article was out (because I received an interview request from a British news agency), I went looking for a copy ... and came up empty-handed. My husband went to seven different stores last night - couldn't find it. And I tried again this morning. No go.

One of my friends at Nintendo told me she had to visit a couple of stores to find hers, because this issue is selling out. "This will probably be their biggest seller of the year," she said. "EVERYBODY is going to see it!"

Everybody but me, apparently.

C'est la vie. My mom and dad and sister in Sacramento tell me the photos came out great. My niece called from her job at the entertainment law firm to tell me she was reading it there. I've gotten congratulation emails and tweets from friends all over the country -- and even heard from a former co-worker I haven't seen in 30 years.

I am going to assume that there's nothing in the piece that I would find embarrassing, other than the photos I sent, showing how very bad I looked before I lost 56 pounds.

So how does one get one's picture in one of the country's most popular general interest magazines?

It helps to have lost a significant amount of weight. Thailan Pham, the very nice writer who interviewed me, seems to be on People's weight loss beat. She had just finished the story on folks who'd lost 100 pounds each. I think those cover stories sell nearly as much as the ones with celebrity babies.

It also helps to have friends at a company like Nintendo. My PR contacts there knew that I had been on a weight loss program, and asked me if, by any chance, I'd used the Wii as part of my fitness regimen. And I had -- the counselors at the weight loss clinic I used wanted me to spend 45 minutes a day doing light exercise... and I wanted to avoid it.

Well, that's not entirely true. I knew I needed to change my lifestyle, and that included becoming more active. But it was summer. And it was hot. And smoggy. And I was busy. Walking outdoors was NOT appealing, especially in my hillside neighborhood.

So early on in the program, I fired up my Wii and practiced my tennis, then turned to boxing, which actually had me working up a sweat.

I soon realized that boxing on the Wii was not going to cut it as a daily exercise regimen. I joined a health club and hired a personal trainer to force me to get fit. I did supplement that with occasional play on the Wii on days I couldn't make it to the gym.

I actually benefited a lot more from another Nintendo product: I was addicted to puzzle games on my little handheld DS, and I discovered that playing them at night while watching TV broke me of my night feeding habit -- which made it easier to stick to my 600-calorie a day diet.

It wasn't much, but Nintendo thought it was good enough to pitch me to People. Thailan contacted me, we exchanged information and then -- nothing happened. I forgot all about it.

Until a couple of months later, when Thailan emailed me again. This time, we set up a phone interview. We spent about an hour talking about my life, how I gained all that extra weight (having a child at the age of 40 is probably not the best way to keep slim and trim), what prompted me to finally take the steps to lose it, my dieting misfires, my dieting tips, my favorite low calorie recipes, etc., etc., etc.

Thailan could not guarantee that the story would get into the magazine, but it seemed more of a sure thing when I got a call from People's photo editor. Olga Camacho wanted to set up a shoot at my house, ASAP.

Uh-huh. Have any of you ever SEEN my house?

Of course not. But you've read my complaints about my deficient skills as a homemaker. There was no way I was going to allow a photographer from People magazine in there without an emergency weekend visit from Merry Maids. Olga seemed disappointed that I couldn't do the shoot until Monday, but that's the way it had to be.

Olga's call was followed by one from Kevin, the stylist. That's right -- I had my very own red carpet stylist, and professional makeup and hair. The photo agency also sent a catered breakfast, which I  couldn't eat, because that was one of the days when I have to eat nothing but awful weight clinic food -- but the breakfast wasn't really for me anyway... it was for the photographer, her assistant, the stylist, and the woman who did my makeup and hair.

Kevin wheeled in a rack with several changes of clothes. They wanted a couple of me in workout gear, in front of the TV (including a shot with these cute pink boxing gloves, which I wanted to keep). They also wanted one of me dressed up, and possibly a shot in nicely fitting jeans.

When Kevin told me that over the phone, I realized that the size 2 Luckys I'd been wearing were now a bit loose, so I went out and bought a 0. Yes, I know how obnoxious that sounds -- the jeans I wear on my "fat days" are a 2. It's also an illustration of how clothing manufacturers have played with sizes to sell their products to us. Who doesn't love wearing something labeled with a small size? In my opinion, a size 0 shouldn't even exist - it's stupid. And even though I lost 56 pounds, I am NOT skinny. I have short, fat little "duck legs" (my husband's description of them), which I warned Kevin about.

I suppose that's why he brought me a pair of Spanx to wear under my workout clothes in the People shots. I never tried them before -- they wouldn't have done me much good when I was 184 pounds. But now -- I like 'em. I bought a pair of my own to wear at BlogHer.

The crew from People arrived at my house promptly at 9:00 a.m. and stayed until noon. I thought the photographer was going to have a heart attack when she discovered that my small, 1961 house still has several walls of mirrors left over from a previous owner. I hated them when we first moved in, but realized that they truly did make my tiny home seem bigger than it is and I barely notice them any more. However, it did limit her setup. A lot of furniture was rearranged so they could get a shot of me in front of my television without getting a reflection.

At one point during one of my changes, I glanced at myself in the mirror and was shocked at how pretty I looked after having my makeup and hair done by someone who customarily works on TV and movie stars. I have never looked that good in my life. I desperately wished I had somewhere nice to go that night so I could take advantage of it. (But it was a Monday -- I would spend the rest of the day chauffeuring my daughter between school and gym and then back home again.)

She set up again outside my home for the shot of me in street clothes. She didn't like any of the dresses Kevin had brought for me to wear (the colors didn't work with my skin tone). Neither one of them cared for any of my own shoes (I tend to buy for comfort instead of style). Kevin finally paired my jeans with a beautiful blouse and some red pumps. We took the final shots, everyone left -- and that was it.

I heard from Thailan from time to time to tell me the article was scheduled to be published - and then to tell me it was out of the magazine. So finding out about it yesterday was more of a surprise than you would think. And now that everyone has seen it but me -- I have to go find a copy of my own!

(Since I wrote this post, a friend kindly emailed me a PDF of the article -- and I found plenty of magazines at a market near my daughter's new gym in Ventura County. I picked up five, which is a good thing, as my friend who lives in Malibu told me she can't find one in her neighborhood either.)

Comments

[Liz@thisfullhouse]

Congratulations on the article in People - FINALLY - going to head out and see if I can grab one, here in Jersey!

[Florinda]

I never buy People, but I will make an exception for this issue - or I'll at least read your article in the checkout line :-). I'm excited for you!

[Mocha]

Oh, honey! That's awesome! Yes, everyone WILL see it and you can say, "There was a picture of me in the highest grossing People magazine EVER."

I was just thinking tonight how I need an indoor fitness routine because this humidity is forcing me to stay inside. Sad, isn't it?

But good on YOU.

[ilinap]

Wow, so cool! I love People and now can pretend to actually know someone in it! I am DYING for the Wii Fit but can't justify the Wii expense while my business is so painfully slow.

[Daphne Brogdon]

I was reading it yesterday ( home sick) and I thought, hey I know her, where do I know here?? and then it said mom blogger and it all fit together. Great issue to be in!

[Lorna]

Today after my Curves session, I ducked into a bar to get out of the rain(really), sat down at the counter and ordered a white wine and took out my People magazine, to which, sadly, I am addicted, and just whooped when I saw your name and picture.....I had to tell everyone in the bar that I knew you. I am a pathetic old broad but soooooooo happppyy---you made my month of August, and I got a free glass of wine too! Mazel tov to us both!

[Lisa has 6 daughters]

Well, congratulations on both the weight loss and the fame. Brangelina should be honored to share publication with you.

[Liz Ditz]

I ran right out and bought it after seeing this post. Congratulations, People star.

[Daisy]

You got your fifteen minutes of fame - because you earned it! Good for you, getting fit again after baby like this.

[Mrs Mogul]

I was just browsing through the magazine the other day at the supermarket but missed your pic! Holy crap I gotta check it out again! WOWOWOWOW! Oh I wish you had copies cause i want you to autograph it!