Holiday? What Holiday?

This month's Yahoo! MotherBoard topic is "Holiday Stress"... where do I begin?

The topic of the call with my parents was Chanukah.

"It begins Friday night, you know."

YIKES.

It's hard enough to get ready for the December holidays when you only have one to celebrate. It's doubly hard to balance my family's Jewish celebration with Christmas (my husband's holiday, and the only religious event he feels he absolutely HAS to acknowledge).

This year...? I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

We usually celebrate the holidays in the UK with my husband's family, or here in California with mine. This year, there's no money for travel -- the wood-eating fungus that damaged our home (and savings account) took care of that. So we're staying put... but MY family has other plans.

When the Obama administration announced a new policy to make it easier for Cuban-Americans to visit family members on the island, my dad decided it was time to take my mom back to Havana for the first time in over 50 years. He scheduled it for the middle of December. While he was at it, he decided to spring for tickets for my 22-year-old niece and 20-year-old nephew.

My sister realized that if she wanted to see her two eldest children over the holidays, she would have to go too. So this year, she and her husband are blitzing down to SoCal for Christmas with his mom and then back up to northern California, where they will catch their flight to Havana. My only opportunity to see them this holiday is on December 23, when they will be passing through. I've invited them to a holiday dinner.

I haven't even begun to think about that yet... because our house is still a construction zone.

The last six months have been an exercise in low expectations. There's been little in the way of entertaining. No parties. No sleepovers for my daughter's friends. No kaffeeklatsches with the other moms (unless we meet at Starbucks).

The major work on the kitchen was completed just before Thanksgiving, but there is a lot of tweaking to be done. The finish on the new cabinets isn't wearing well and some touch-ups and more protective coatings need to be applied. The microwave hood and cabinet hardware are on hold until then.

And then there is the little matter of our floor. Until we install a new one, it is silly to haul out the living room chairs, dining room set, wine rack and china cabinet contents. And we have yet to decide on shelving for the piles of books currently taking up our office/guest bedroom.

The good news is that we settled on flooring last week. The bad news is that between my sprained foot and the nasty bug that befell the entire family over the weekend, we lost ground on the home improvements we wanted to finish before the floor is put in. We need another weekend... and my husband needs to accept the idea that he has to lower HIS expectations on what we can conceivably finish.

"I think it's OK to save the painting for AFTER the holiday," I told him. "After all, we've always just covered things up when we've painted before."

He nodded, as if to agree. But I think he still thinks we're going to accomplish more than is humanly possible this weekend.

So the floor tile -- which was originally set to be installed yesterday -- has been delayed until Monday, with a crew coming in tomorrow to prep our damaged concrete slab in the kitchen and dining area. We're allowing two days for that job.

The carpet installers arrive on Wednesday to do the living room and hallway. That's also when we've got the cabinet stainer returning to do his thing in the kitchen. I've scheduled the appliance guys to put in the hood next Friday. This means next Saturday and Sunday will be taken up with moving furniture and unpacking boxes...

... and shopping for a Christmas tree.

Which brings us back to the holiday at hand. The house isn't the only thing that's been occupying my time of late. I work at home, and I have clients who are as anxious as I to get focused on the holidays -- which means the time is NOW to finish all their outstanding work.

And the sprained foot was just the latest bit of health stuff I've had to deal with, too. Both my daughter and I have dental issues that MUST be taken care of this month, as our insurance deductibles go up in 2010. She and I both have appointments next week.

Where was I? Oh yes. The holiday at hand. Chanukah. I've bought my daughter exactly ONE gift (instead of the usual eight). I haven't purchased a thing for my husband. I don't even know which box is holding our menorah -- or if I can access it.

"I might have to buy a new menorah," I told my husband. "It's easier than trying to find the one we have."

He groaned. "Didn't you buy a second one last year?" he asked.

I might have. Even so, it is just as lost to us as the old one.

My husband gave me a look that said "Why are you wasting money on another menorah when we already have two?" I wanted to tell him that over 20 years, I've spent a lot less money on menorahs than he's spent on Christmas trees, but I wisely kept that to myself.

Like everything else this year, our winter holidays will be a haphazard affair. As we make room for the floor prep tonight, I'll look for our menorahs. If I can't find one, I'll pick up another tomorrow so we'll be able to light a candle. I'll do a swift run through Target for Chanukah gifts and deal with Christmas on Monday. And at some point over the next week, I'll dig up my holiday recipes and plan dinner for the 23rd.

Most of all, I'm going to remind myself to relax. So we're not going to have a picture-perfect holiday. But we have each other, we're healthy... and (fingers crossed!) our house will be a home again. And that will be the best gift of all.

This post is part of a monthly carnival I participate in as a member of Yahoo!'s MotherBoard. Check out the rest of the carnival at: