For the last two years, I've been a proud contributor to two collaborative blogs owned by the Silicon Valley Moms group: Los Angeles Moms and 50-Something Moms.
I cannot tell you how personally beneficial it has been to be partnered with such talented, smart, funny blogging women. When I started SoCal Mom back in the dark ages (2003), I felt like that proverbial tree that crashes in the woods - alone and unheard.
I loved being a small part of the SV Moms Group, and was saddened when they announced they would be disbanding as of June 30. I would have been a lot sadder that day had I not been in the UK at the time, where all I could do was watch the tweets and tributes from afar.
So I am ever more grateful to still be associated with the Yahoo! Motherboard, which is a loose coalition of mom bloggers (many of whom also wrote for the SV Moms blogs). We exchange information on tech, issues, kids and culture -- facilitated by the staff and resources of the huge web portal.
Last Friday, Yahoo! hosted the Motherboard's first in-person "summit," at their worldwide headquarters in Sunnyvale. So four days after our return from the UK, I hopped back on a plane heading into Northern California. (At least, this time I got to stay in my own time zone.)
Our gracious hosts, who included Yahoo! staff members Jeanne Moeschler, Amy Heinz and Stacy Libby, treated us all like rock stars. Those of us who do not already live in the Bay Area were treated to airfare, airport transfer and individual rooms at the Four Seasons Silicon Valley (reason enough to attend! Those beds - those linens - the beautiful big bathtub!). We were fed (a little bit too well!), served potent cocktails, and on Friday morning, greeted at Yahoo! after walking a purple carpet.
While the social aspect of this kind of gathering is what makes it fun (Hey, PunditMom! Good to see you again, Kim Moldofsky! So nice to finally meet you, ChefDruck!), that's just icing on the cake (or in this case, the amazing Yahoo purple cupcake served at snacktime).
I'm a total nerd when it comes to conferences (yeah, I know, I'm a total nerd, period -- but it really comes out in a classroom situation). And this conference had substance.
The folks at Yahoo! put together a meaty program chockfull of information, tips and suggestions that we could use right away to improve our blog writing and online experience.
I should note here that one of the truly nice things about my participation in the Motherboard is that they never actually require anything. Each month, the members are given a theme to write about and resources we can use for more information... but here's the really cool part: There's absolutely no pressure. If the monthly topic is one that holds no relevance for us, and we choose not to participate, it's okay.
A recent example was when the topic was fostering a love of books in young children, which is something I'm way beyond, now that my daughter is starting high school. I did not write a Yahoo post that month. No one checked up with me or sent me any emails threatening to drop me from the group. I just waited until the following month, when the theme was one that did relate to my life -- so it wasn't a stretch for me to put up a post here at SoCal Mom.
That's another thing: Contrary to what some folks have written, Motherboard members are not providing content to Yahoo for free. All of our posts are written for our own blogs, and Yahoo links to them from the Motherboard page. I feel as if I'm getting way more out of the relationship than Yahoo does.
(This is not to say that I'm not the idiot my friend Jessica says I appear to be. As usual, she makes some very good points in a provocative and entertaining way. But that's a whole 'nother post.)
I did not participate in last month's Motherboard topic, which was online safety. One reason was that I was concentrating all my energy in June on Megan's middle school graduation and our UK vacation.
Another reason was that my very first Motherboard post had to do with "sexting." I felt it was a topic I'd already covered... and one I tend to view with skepticism. I think a lot of people are simply terrified of technology, and it's easier to make the Internet into the boogeyman than it is to teach your kids common sense rules for staying safe.
So I guess it's ironic that in a day packed with useful tips from the community managers at Flickr, Shine, and Yahoo! Green -- the one session that has stayed with me was the Online Safety Roundtable.
Jeannie moderated this panel discussion with Catherine Teitelbaum (Yahoo's Child Safety and Product Policy Director), Vice President and Head of Privacy Anne Toth -- both of whom oversee the Yahoo! Safely portal of resources for parents and young people.
The panel was rounded out by Officer Holly Lawrence of the Sunnyvale Police Department, who had first-hand knowledge of a devastatingly tragic local case that was presented to us in a video documentary.
The child involved was not unlike my own daughter: a pretty high school freshman who was on the cheerleading squad. She got good grades, seemed to have plenty of good friends and a nice family. I watched the interviews with her parents and they seemed reasonable people, who reacted to their daughter's adolescent moodiness exactly as I would in the same situation.
She killed herself.
The family had no warning; their daughter gave her no reason to suspect that she would consider ending her life. But in the days that followed, they learned that the girl had sent a naked picture of herself to a boy -- which had then been transmitted to others at the school.
And when they had the time to go over the text messages on their daughter's phone, the parents learned that the girl HAD been telegraphing her intentions to her friends.
It's been nearly a week, and I cannot get over how tragic this story is -- to her loving parents, who would have intervened if only someone had told them... and to this girl's friends, who will have to live with the knowledge that they could have done something to prevent her suicide.
We talked a lot about this session at dinner that evening. I found it interesting that it affected the parents of boys in a different way than those of us with girls. The boys interviewed in the video at the time did not seem to think they bore any responsibility for what happened to that girl; that there was nothing wrong with receiving that photo and passing it on. Officer Lawrence said that today, the boys understand that they played a part too. One has changed schools. Everyone who knew this girl was touched by her tragedy.
And now, I am too.
The thing about online safety - and offline safety - is that you're not just having one conversation with your kids and you're done. It's a continuing thing. We model safe practices - on the street, in our cars, in our homes and on the Internet... and when the occasion arises, we talk about it with our kids.
And that's a reminder that's worth more to me than a zillion purple cupcakes.
DISCLOSURE: I was not paid to write this post. My participation with the Yahoo! Motherboard is voluntary and my opinions are my own. Yahoo paid my expenses to their Motherboard Summit last week. I was under no obligation to write about it or about Yahoo products.
Okay, you be sure and let me know how that altruistic Yahoo treats ya.
Because I'm thinking that when you really look at the balance of power, it's not with the moms.
Posted by: JessicaGottlieb | July 22, 2010 at 05:00 PM
Altruistic? Did I call them that? I know it's marketing and that they are getting free mention of their services. Does that make me feel used? No, because the services I mentioned are either ones I have used for years (Flickr) or ones I had no idea existed (Yahoo Green) or didn't fully understand (Shine). And I feel that the online safety information is important.
As for how idiotic I am because I am not paid for most of what I write.. well, I don't disagree with you. Like I said, that's another post. Or a heated discussion over martinis. Well, maybe not so heated. Like I said, I think you're right.
Posted by: Donna | July 22, 2010 at 05:19 PM