The Problem With Nutritional Guidelines

 This month's Yahoo! Motherboard topic is Teaching Kids Healthy Eating Habits. I'm afraid I'm going to veer a bit from that focus -- because how can I teach my own child when I am struggling so much for myself?

My weight is getting dangerously high again. I can still squeeze into my size 2 Lucky Brand jeans -- but just barely. And in the evening, I find myself longing for the next size up.

Back In the Saddlebags

It could be worse: When I started my weight loss journey, I had just outgrown size 14. I'm terrified of being in that place again. I'm feeling helpless to stop it.

I'm back on the Lindora products I used when I was making daily visits to the weight loss clinic -- but I'm not being as diligent as I was when I had to answer to a nurse/counselor who would give me hell if the scale did not move in a downward direction each day of the program. I've not made the commitment to eat the stuff at dinner. And yes, if I had my druthers, I'd only eat fresh, natural, organic foods -- which is what I'd prefer for my daughter. But as I seem to have a problem with portions... and choices... and finding the right balance, I'm back to eating this cardboard tasting stuff for most of my meals.

I don't want to give up my morning latte (too many carbs in the milk) or a glass of wine in the evening (again, carbs).

I know what to do. I just don't do it.

If I had the money, I would gladly sign back up with the clinic for the counseling (not to mention the daily B12 shots that made it easier to live on 600 calories a day). I'm just grateful that I did make that move back when we had some disposable income. Now, I have to do this on my own - and unfortunately, I don't have a great track record for that.

I realize I have a bad relationship with carbohydrates. I love them - but I'm like an alcoholic. I can't eat just a half-cup of pasta; I won't stop until I've consumed the whole pot.

I should also get back into the habit of working out on a more or less daily basis. Now that Megan is back in school full time (hooray!), this should be easier.

Of course, now that it's September and the holidays are looming, sticking to a diet is going to be painful. But, as I've learned over the past two years, there is NEVER a really good time to start a diet. There will always be yummy temptations around, and once a body has hit 184 pounds, there are lots of physical reasons why it will want to go back. I can't let that happen.

Individual Body Types Have Individual Nutritional Needs

One of the other lessons I've learned on this weight loss journey is that when it comes to dietary requirements, one size definitely DOES NOT fit all. We still understand very little of the complex processes the human body utilizes to turn fuel into energy (or fat). If losing weight was a simple matter of mathematics (expend more calories than you consume), it would not be so difficult. 

If body chemistry was not permanently altered after weight loss, keeping it off would not seem so impossible. Again, I need to not only restrict my carbs, fat and calories again -- I need to find time for working out. This was easier three years ago, when I was being paid to blog about my weight loss regimen and so could more easily carve out the time I needed to hit the gym. Since the recession affected our family budget, it's hard to break away from (computer based) activities that earn money. This has to change.

Balancing My Needs With That of My Family

So I know what I have to do, and while it may not sound so difficult to you, I find it daunting... especially when I factor in the meal planning I'm supposed to do for the rest of the family.

I LOVE good food. I used to enjoy cooking it -- but only because of the pay-off of getting to eat the meal when it's finished. While I was on Lindora, there were several nights a week when my family lived on frozen food and takeout because I did not have the willpower to cook them a nice meal and then eat my nasty Lindora "spaghetti dinner."

In the meantime, I can take heart in the knowledge that at 14, my daughter is able to make dietary decisions of her own. She has seen "Supersize Me" and Jamie Oliver's demonstration of what actually goes into a chicken nugget. She is not a big fan of fast food.

She doesn't always make good choices. Her own diet is heavy on carbs and I have to remind her to include some protein in her lunch - but at her young age, that may be appropriate. She doesn't love most vegetables, but makes up for that by consuming lots of fresh fruit. Her tastes are slowly becoming more sophisticated -- there may come a time when the healthier choices I'd like her to make will taste good to her, too.

The good news: I do NOT need to lose 56 pounds. I know my husband and daughter do not want to see me get to that point again. Losing the extra weight I've packed back on doesn't mean they will have to suffer for several months, as they did the first time.

The bad news is that I've made this vow about five times over the last year, and each time, I've given up and watched my weight tick up a little bit higher.

That does not mean I am going to just give up and let it happen. The only way to lose this battle is to stop trying. Here we go again.

Here is what some of my Yahoo! Motherboard colleagues are saying about instilling healthy eating habits in our kids:

• Coast2Coast Mom: Instilling Healthy Eating Habits
• It's All About Balance: Balancing School Lunches
• Chef Druck: Pork Loin Stuffed with Sausage and My Personal Food Revolution (*NOTE: This may be the wrong time for ME to read her recipe, but it looks fairly low in carbs - so I will try it out after I've lost a few)
• Dirt & Noise: Livid About Lunchables
• Bonggamom: How to Make a Peanut BETTER Sandwich

Comments

[GiGi]

What a wonderful blog Donna. So honest and insightful!

Mine, too, is a constant battle between what my mind is craving and what I should be eating. I know I will never have the body I did 30 years ago, but I'd like to be more comfortable in my own skin.

Thank you for the links you've added, I will check them out.

Hugs, GiGi

[La Jolla Mom]

Hi Donna! You're so tiny I would have never guessed you struggled with your weight, ever. Such a well written, honest post. I too am a carb gal and struggle with it. It's a daily battle. :)

[Amy @ YodelingMamas]

Good luck to you on this journey. I'm very much the same way. I have no will power unless someone is watching me. When I was pregnant I had gestational diabetes. And being forced to write down what I ate and how much I exercised was so eye-opening. I always tell myself I should do that anyway...but I don't. It sounds like knowing the problem is the first step to fixing it. Stay strong (and I'll try to do the same)!

[Linda Symms]

Walking helped me to lose a lot of weight fast, but only when I stuck to eating foods that don't make you put on.

I took things like fish, or chicken and made tasty sauces with chopped tomatoes and garlic, herbs chillies etc, and bulked it with nice veg.

Food like that you can eat a lot of, and not put on weight even with no exercise whatsoever! So when combined with walking at and steadily increasing the pace it's a no-brainer.

[Sarah Auerswald]

Donna, I hear you loud and clear! I am struggling with making the commitment to myself in the same way. I wish us both strength and stamina!

Sarah

[Suzy Bae]

Goodluck with your struggle against carbs! I don't think you need it though, you seem to be very fit!

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