BlogHer bet - What Am I Doing Here?

In my haste to begin writing about my experience at BlogHer bet yesterday, I began live blogging the opening session before I'd explained how I ended up at a conference for women entrepreneurs.

After all, as I've told people for years -- that although I come from a family of salespeople, I didn't get the gene for business. I don't have an entrepreneurial bone in my body.

This is why I forwarded the initial announcement of the inaugural Business, Entrepreunership and Technology conference to everyone I knew with a small business... including my sister, who is trying to expand the reach of her longtime company (Career Kids), which publishes and distributes career planning material for K12 students. She recently launched a spinoff for adults -- and I thought she might find value in getting matched with a mentor who might offer some solid advice for growing her business.

The timing of the conference did not work out for her... but it was doable for two of my friends and blogging colleagues: Yvonne Condes, who is a member of the triumvirate behind the new MomsLAnews site, and Cynthia Liu, my frequent partner-in-progressive political radio at MOMocratsMOMochat - who is building a promising new resource for parents of public school students, the K12 News Network.

The initial BlogHer bet was designed to be small: Just 100 spots for attendees who would be matched with 50 high powered female mentors. It sounded like a terrific opportunity and a potentially life changing experience; much like the first BlogHer conference I attended back in 2005.

BlogHer bet sounded like a great event to attend, if only for the opportunity to network and hear the advice of these extremely successful women. But it was designed to help women who had either launched a business or had an idea for a business. 

And that wasn't me.

Also, with just 100 spots open, I did not want to take up space that should be filled by a woman who DID have a great business idea.

So why did I come?

For one thing, I may have sold it to Cyn as something we would attend -- together. 

For another thing, I thought I might be the fly on the wall who could relay the great advice back to my sister.

And then there was the third thing: unlike the now established, big BlogHer conference, bet was not an immediate sell-out. The pitches to register kept on coming; there was no end-of-early-bird increase in its modest cost.

In the end, deep down, I think I was hoping for some spark of inspiration that might transform my non-entrepreneurial, insecure little self into someone who could create a company of my own (and an accompanying income). 

You see, in the last several months, while working on our little radio show and helping to curate the MOMocrats Facebook page, I've felt like I've been circling around something; something that could good -- for me, for my friends and colleagues... but I just couldn't land on it.

However, I was certain there was something there.

I signed up for the conference and hoped for magic.

And felt like a fraud when the BlogHer people sent me the attendee survey, where I was asked to describe my "big idea."

I don't have any big ideas: just that vague feeling of swimming around in circles.

I don't even fully remember how I answerred the question. I think I mentioned MOMocrats and the idea of creating some kind of media company to associate with the group blog. I'm also pretty sure I rambled on about being a 55 year old woman who needs to re-enter the workforce, and how impossible that feels and that the only way I'm going to do it is to create something for myself... and that this is a situation that a lot of women (and men) of my enormous generation of baby boomers are likely finding themselves in.

I was certain the organizers were also wondering why I had decided to come to this thing as much as I was. I was pretty sure they would have a tough time matching me with a mentor.  Cyn had researched the 50 women who were generously giving their time and wisdom at the conference and knew which ones she wanted to meet...

...I didn't do any of that. Without a concrete idea, I had no clue who would be most helpful to me. I figured the conference organizers would have an equally hard time with that, too. I decided I'd be happy with anyone, so it didn't really matter if I knew a lot about her ahead of time -- whoever she was, it would be a benefit just to meet and talk and get a little advice from her.

The woman they matched me with is amazing.

I'm saving that for later.

 

Comments

[business consultant]

I understand why you didn't get the "business genes" even if you come from a family of salespeople. Good thing you still help your siblings with their businesses.