Summer of the Emptying Nest

Every summer seems to have a theme. And it all has to do with my daughter's activities.

When she was in kindergarten and first grade, I enrolled her in a summer camp. I dropped her off at 8:00 a.m. and had about eight hours each day to work from home.

In second grade, camp was replaced by gymnastics. The kids trained hard during the school year -- but school was a limitation. Summer allowed the coaches to get more intense. During the summer months, the girls trained six to eight hours a day, five days a week.

I got a lot of work done.

Then Megan quit gymnastics, and all of the routines I was used to went out the window.

School ended two weeks ago. We have no schedule, no set appointments. If I don't bother to rouse her, my kid sleeps in past noon -- and there are days when I'm so busy that I allow it. (It doesn't help that without a set time to be somewhere, I seem unable to stop sleeping in, too.)

I used to be bemused by the fact that our daughter never seemed to want to spend time in her own room. I guess because she's an only child and did not have a lot of free time, she seemed to prefer hanging out with us in the living room. We tried to create a space in her room for study; her desk ended up just a place to pile her stuff. She preferred doing her homework out in the living room with us.

But this year, as a sophomore in high school, she decided she needed solitude to study. This year, she retired to her room as soon as we were home from school, and she barely left it -- even for dinner. And her school assignments kept her there most nights past midnight.

I've missed her. And I hoped that I might see more of her after school ended.

But she's still spending most of her time in her room.

It got so bad that tonight, while my husband was working late, I begged her to come out and spend some time with me. She indulged me, and we spent about a half hour watching bad reality TV together. And then she returned to her room.

We have another three weeks before she goes to the residential summer program at CalArts. She'll be gone for a month.

I'm really starting to feel that empty nest.

I've spent the last couple of weeks actively looking for a full time job. I need the money, but as my husband keeps pointing out, I also need the personal interaction employment would provide.

Life has a habit of throwing me curve balls. My mistake is getting too comfortable, because as soon as I do, everything changes again.

She'll start college in a couple of years and that will change my life radically. I'm preparing for it now.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

 

Comments

[Yvonne Condes]

I feel for you. My boys are still little, but they're growing up so fast and needing me less and less. It's great of course that they are more independent. What's starting to bother me is that every day there are less hugs, less time to snuggle. I can't imagine having a teenager.
Good luck on your job search!

[Sarah Auerswald]

Oh Donna - I don't want to go through this! I've got a nearly teenager and I spend a lot of time worrying about what it will feel like in my house when the real teenage years hit - and when the nest actually empties out... If we lived closer I'd invite you over here to work!

[Katie - OCMomActivities]

My boys are 10 and 8 and I'm already worried about this! I miss the interaction of the work environment, but still need my flexibility to be mom.

I find myself aching to have another baby to find playgroups and all of the fun that was having a young baby... Ugh!

[Anne B.]

As someone whose nest is already empty, I know what you're going through. And you're certainly doing the right thing by finding a job and/or new activities. I also know, that for me, the anticipation of my daughter moving away to college was worse than the actual event.
It's not that I don't miss the kid - she has somehow turned into a spectacular adult and I love talking to her and spending time with her. But I kinda like this empty nest thing, too. There's a real freedom and as Her Ladyship put it, there's the basking in the glow of a job well-done.

[Desiree Eaglin]

Sigh. I'm hating the growing changes too. Lets cry on each others shoulders shall we? xo

[Kim Tracy Prince]

Oof, Donna. This is harsh reality. I don't like it. I prefer to be in denial that my boys will grow up to be teenagers.

[Donna]

You have plenty of time. But once you get there, it is amazing how quickly it passed.

[Donna]

Any time, Desiree.

[Donna]

You give me hope!

[Donna]

Yeah - I now understand why people have that last baby many years later. Not an option when you have the first one at 40!