Socal Mom by Donna Schwartz Mills

The Joy of Cooking (The Despair of Eating)

Before you start reading this, a warning: I started this post as a paean to how much fun it is to cook and eat a nice meal -- but it quickly devolved into yet another woe-is-me whine about my stupid menopausal self. 

I can't help it. 

I have an assignment from AskPatty to cover the LA Auto Show, which opens to the press tomorrow -- and there is a dress code. Unfortunately, I have gained so much weight in such a short time that nothing fits, and I will likely spend most of the money I am earning from the assignment to purchase clothes. This will likely upset my husband, who is already furious with me for getting fat again.

I am crying as I type this, because I feel so helpless. And out of control. 

I know what I should be doing: Exercising (a lot!). Cutting calories. Cutting carbs.

But my to-do list the last few weeks has been long, and I decided to skip the gym while I try to catch up (at least, until I've finished my posts from the Auto Show).

More disturbing has been my complete inability to stick to any kind of diet. I feel hungry. ALL THE TIME. And the foods I am craving are exactly the ones that are adding to my misery. For years, I could take or leave sweets... but now, I am finding them impossible to resist. I know from experience that tomorrow, when I'm at the LA Convention Center, there will be lovely sweet temptations everywhere... and this year, I will probably give in.

The sad thing is, the last few days have been fun, because I've been cooking -- which was my creative outlet of choice before I started this blog. I think that's why I liked being a vegan this summer: It forced me to try a lot of new recipes.

Right now, I'm trying to navigate the intricacies of planning meals for my husband (who is sticking with the vegan regimen), my daughter (who only seems to like beef stew and roast chicken) and myself (feeling guilty no matter what I eat). 

I guess you could say I'm suffering from dietary schizophrenia. But now that I'm talking about cooking (and not the weight I gain from eating the results), I'm feeling a bit better.

I made this fabulous vegan stew over the weekend (which I found on the Whole Foods Market website). It was so flavorful and filling that even non-vegans will be satisfied.

Ethiopian Style Chickpea Stew

1 teaspoon sweet paprika 
1 teaspoon salt 
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice 
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 
1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom 
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves 
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander 
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon cayenne 
1/4 teaspoon ground fenugreek (optional) 
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 
2 (15-ounce) cans no-salt-added chickpeas, rinsed and drained 
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided 
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped 
1 medium red onion, chopped 
1 (1-inch) piece fresh ginger, peeled and finely chopped 
1 (8-ounce) can no-salt-added tomato sauce 
1 quart low-sodium vegetable broth 
1 pound red potatoes, cut into 1-inch chunks 
4 carrots, peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks 
Flatbread

Preheat oven to 450°F.

Stir together paprika, salt, allspice, black pepper, cardamom, cloves, coriander, cayenne, fenugreek (if using) and ginger in a small bowl; set spice mixture aside. 

Read the rest of the recipe on the Whole Foods website here.

DISCLOSURE: I have no affiliation with any of the companies listed in this post and received no compensation of any kind for writing it.

The Veggie Grill is a Great Place for Lunch -- Even If You're Not a Vegan

Earlier this year, I talked my husband into going on a vegan diet with me.

I did it because I'm trying to find a way to manage my weight without relying on packaged diet food (which I can no longer stomach). My husband did it out of concern for his cholesterol.

Over the last several weeks, I've lamented that my part of the experiment wasn't very successful, at least from the weight management side of things. I've ballooned up to a point that has me feeling unhappy and depressed.

There are lots of reasons for that, which I've covered in other posts... and will likely rant about again, because it's the biggest thing on my mind right now. 

But this week we learned that my husband's foray into veganism was wildly successful: After just four months, my husband's total cholesterol dropped about  50 points. 

"This doesn't look like a profile of the same man," the doctor said. 

Everything has radically improved: HDL cholesterol, LDL cholesterol, triglycerides, glucose levels. 

Veganism agrees with my husband. He feels better and has more energy. The only issue is occasional boredom, especially when we're dining out. It isn't easy to stick to a vegan diet in a restaurant, where the offerings usually end up being kind of bland.

Last weekend, we discovered a great casual spot with good, inexpensive vegan food that will please even the meat eaters in the family.

The Orange County Register named Veggie Grill  one of the area's best new restaurants when it debuted there a few years ago. Since then, the chain has expanded to seven locations, including its newest outpost, at the Los Angeles Farmers Market, which is where we were treated to a delicious lunch last Saturday.

The menu offers the kinds of things you would expect: sandwiches and salads, with plant-based proteins like quinoa, soy, nuts and gluten (all of which are optional -- the restaurant offers a guide to dishes for those who are allergic or sensitive to these items).

Fortunately, neither of us has food sensitivies, so we ordered the items we wanted to try:

I decided to start my meal with my favorite comfort food (which is also the dish that caused me the most trepidation): Macaroni and Cheese -- which of course, is not possible to make vegan if you're using classic egg-based pasta or actual cheese.

The elbow macaroni Veggie Grill uses is made of quinoa, which is gluten-free and protein rich... but it also gives it a tough texture and odd flavor ... or maybe that's the soy-based cheese sauce.

This dish wasn't bad -- but you'd never mistake it for the real thing. However, if I was to swear off "real" pasta and cheese sauce for the rest of my life (and I may come to that decision), this would help satisfy any lingering cravings for the stuff.

More successful were the sweet potato fries my husband ordered with his Papa Portobello Sandwich. The fries had a nice, crisp exterior and were served with a garlicky sauce that tasted to me like a spicy aioli (but is listed on the menu as Chipotle ranch dressing). Whatever it is, it was made without eggs or dairy (I believe it is soy-based).

My husband could not stop raving about his sandwich: a grilled portobello mushroom with gourmet toppings like caramelized onions, pesto and a pomodoro of fresh tomatoes, basil and garlic.

"It tasted great and was just a little spicy," he said, adding, "this is something I would easily have selected to eat in my former cave-man, meat-eating days."

(The rest of his comments -- which he added to my notes -- are not to be taken seriously. But I promised him I would include them in my review):

 

Without questioning, my gorgeous husband exclaimed "Extremely good". What a verification of this fine stores wares. He further offered that his burger was hot, the ingredients fresh and that it supplied a veritable cornucopia of juxtaposed tastes, with a hint of spice thrown in for good measure.

My wife asked me to talk about my buns. She had to clarify that it was the one that the server delivered rather than those on which I sit. The inside of the burger had a big juicy mushroom with a variety of delicately cut up vegetables inside."

 

This gives you an idea of what I live with.

My entree was a Baja Fiesta Salad: Chopped romaine, papaya, avocado, roasted corn salsa, quinoa, cucumber and tortilla strips, dressed with a vinaigrette of ginger and papaya.

It was delicious, refreshing and totally satisfying.

I probably should have ordered a dish that featured one of Veggie Grill's meat substitutes (branded Chillin' Chikin' and Veggie Steak), but I wasn't in the mood for that. I can tell you that while I was cooking vegan, I tried a number of vegan meatlike substitutes and discovered they were very tasty, and I have no doubt that the ones served here are similar. But I also sampled soy-based tempeh while I was vegan and did not care for that. I should probably return to Veggie Grill to see what they do with it, because judging from the dishes we did taste, I'm betting I will like it a lot better their way than the meals I tried to make with it.

Veggie Grill has a kid's menu and a nice selection of desserts, which we should have tried -- but to be honest, we were feeling kind of full after our entrees... and a little bit smug about it, because we knew that everything we ate was good for us. 

Besides -- it's always nice to leave something for your next visit, which I predict will be soon.

DISCLOSURE: I received no compensation for this post and made no promises that the review would be positive. I'm hoping the folks at Veggie Grill open a place here in the Valley so I can visit more often.

 

The Disappearing Act

In the course of nearly eight years of blogging, there have been periods where I've been largely absent from this space -- just because life gets in the way.

This month has been one of them.

Online, I've been busy with outside writing (my latest automotive review is live at AskPatty), outside projects (have you listened to the MOMocrats podcast I produce each week?), and other obligations (why do I bother to videotape things when it takes me such a long time to edit them)?

Off line, I've had a whole lot of personal issues to deal with. Stuff of house and home (some of you may have noticed a post where I talked about the ongoing money pit I am living in -- which I deleted after my family objected to bits of it. I still maintain that my house is trying to kill me). Sick kids. Sick relatives. 

And then, there's me.

Most of the posts I've published this year have focused on my weight, which I had managed to manage for a while, but can do no longer. My husband will deny this, but I think he's furious at me. I'm pretty upset with myself, too and have been obsessed with trying to figure out why what worked a couple of years ago is not working now.

The likeliest culprit is menopause.

I've been spending a good deal of time reading dietititan Ashley Koff's new book, Mom Energy -- not least of all because I got to go to a MomsLA sponsored luncheon for it... and because Ashley has kindly allowed me to interview her (not once, but TWICE) for our MOMocrats podcast.

(I took some video at the luncheon and will upload it here at some point. After I've edited it.)

Ashley is a dynamic, knowledgeable advocate for nutritious, balanced eating -- which is something I have not really done in a very long time. For several years, I've limited my intake of carbohydrates, because I noticed that my body did not seem to metabolize them very well any longer -- plus, I was like an alcoholic with a drink. Give me a slice of bread and I'll eat the whole loaf.

It was just easier to go without.

Eventually, it wasn't enough to just limit carbs. The Lindora weight loss diet I successfully finished four years ago was low-carb, low-fat AND low-calorie (600-800 a day). Plus, exercise.

That is what it took to lose 56 pounds.

But last year, the weight started creeping back on.

And then it started piling back on.

I rejoined Lindora. And the results were disappointing. All of the tricks that worked for me in 2007 failed in 2011.

On June 1, I decided to experiment with veganism.

I'm now almost as fat as I was when I embarked on this weight loss adventure. It makes me depressed, unhappy, guilty, frightened... and at a loss, because I haven't a clue what I should eat any longer. 

I mentioned this to Ashley Koff at our luncheon earlier this month. She compared my metabolism to an elastic band that's been stretched too many times -- eventually, it loses all its snap.

And her book has other insights: I knew that my metabolism would slow down with menopause, but I did not know that the same body changes make women feel hungrier (one explanation why I'm having so much trouble sticking with small portions now, when I did not before). 

Ashley's co-author, fitness expert Kathy Kaehler, describes the problems she had with the onset of menopause: "I went through a year of being achy, feeling bad, and gaining weight no matter what I did."  Now, this confession comes from a woman who is one of the country's foremost professional trainers. That gave me a little solace.

Until I got to the next bit: "I decided to test the limits of my physicality and charge up a hill on my mountain bike like a madwoman. It shocked my system, but it's exactly what I needed. I had to get my heart rate up so high that my body was forced to respond."

I already read the reports that middle aged women need to work out an hour a day just to maintain their weight, and I have been trying to ignore it, because I DON'T HAVE THE TIME. 

But I need to make the time.

Last week, I started walking again: about three miles each on Friday, Sunday and yesterday. That's hard to do here in the Valley, because it's all long, boring stretches of blocks with nothing very interesting to see (although on Sunday, I did my walk along Ventura Boulevard, which has a lot of cute little shops to look at). I'm trying to work myself up to where I can get through a workout at the gym. If I want to get this under control, I will have to work harder and longer than I ever have before.

And if that means I don't visit this space as often as I'd like, that's just the way it's going to have to be.

DISCLOSURE: I received no compensation for this post. I did receive a review copy and an autographed copy of "Mom Energy" at the luncheon, plus a bag full of healthy food products to try... all of which are now taking up space on my rump. Which is my own fault.

Losing the Battle in the Weight War

I gave in last week and did the unthinkable: I upsized my jeans.

I am trying very hard not to be disgusted with myself. 

As many of you know, four years ago, I embarked on an extremely restrictive diet that resulted in the loss of 56-pounds in just seven months. I managed to get through the following year with just a 5-pound gain.

But one of the things that makes weight management so frustrating is that once you've been overweight, your body will fight you to get back to that benchmark. Scientists have identified a lot of reasons for this: fat cells that shrink but do not die, brain chemistry that makes you crave foods that are not your friend, metabolisms that slow as you age and bodies that more easily sustain injuries (which also make it easy to excuse yourself from exercise).

Earlier this year, I re-embarked on the same diet that worked so well for me a few years ago... only this time, the results were disappointing. I basically starved myself for 10 weeks on 800 calories a day, and barely lost 10 pounds.

I can't live on that kind of diet any longer. So in June, I decided to try veganism, and I convinced my husband to try that with me (noting that it would do wonders for both our cholesterol levels).

After years of low-calorie, extremely low carb eating that was focused on packaged, nasty-tasting diet products, switching to vegan was a revelation. I'm still not used to eating fruits, so I haven't had a lot of those. But it's been a joy to cook again. My daughter is still the pickiest of eaters and on most nights has been eating a different meal, but that's better than the three different meals I was working with while on the restrictive diet.

The variety of vegetables I've enjoyed has been marvelous... not to mention the bread, the brown rice, the pasta...

...I need to start thinking of carbohydrates the way I think of shrimp: as a food that could kill me if I even taste it. I'm an addict, and don't seem to be able to limit myself to just one, small serving. And without animal protein, this is the stuff I've resorted to when feeling hungry. Too bad it's poison to my BMI.

After two months, my husband lost so much weight that he should probably downsize his jeans.

And as noted at the top of this post, I've had the opposite result. To make matters worse, he keeps pointing it out to me (as if I'm not aware of it. For the record: I am aware, I'm not happy, and telling me doesn't help).

"The only thing wrong with you is that you don't get enough exercise," he says.

That's half-true. I don't get enough exercise, especially when my to-do list exceeds the amount of time I have for doing it, which has been the case all this year.  I need to accept the fact that I will NEVER finish EVERYTHING I want to do when I want to do it, and should just MAKE THE TIME to do the exercise.

This is easier said than done.

I'm going on a bike ride with the husband this afternoon. Maybe I can take time to do some more during the week.

But my husband needs to understand that my body does not shed weight as easily as his does. I know a lot of women who do eat all the right things, get plenty of exercise and are simply unable to lose the last five or ten pounds they feel they need to look good.

But hey - five or ten pounds is better than 20 or 30, right?

I am probably going to ease myself off the vegan diet and back into some form of low-carb/low cal/high protein regimen -- but hopefully, with more of an emphasis on fresh food.

However, I may be returning to the days when I had to cook three different meals at night. The challenge will be coming up with recipes that can be used as a base and adapted for each of us.

I may have lost this battle, but I'm not ready to give up.

Adventures in Veganism

If you've known me for any period of time, you're aware that I struggle with my weight. 

My ace in the hole was the clinic that helped me lose 56 pounds four years ago. This time around, I only had 20 pounds to lose, and I was certain I would be able to shed them fairly easily on the 600-800 calorie diet I had signed up for again.

But years of yo-yo dieting and low carb regimens (and age!) have done a number on my metabolism.

After 10 weeks, I managed a bare 10-pound loss. And the moment I started eating a more normal diet (i.e., 1200 calories a day instead of 800), the weight came back.

I decided it was time to try something else.

So for the last three weeks, I've been a vegan.

And you know something? I'm kind of enjoying it.

For one thing, I have denied myself fruits and grains for so long that eating them again feels decadent.

And I'm not missing the meat, eggs or dairy -- which is really surprising to me.

I should backtrack: This came about as a result of a converation I had with my Moms LA peeps at a May event event with nutritionist Ashley Koff. Sarah Auerswald and Yvonne Condes were about to embark on a challenge from their neighborhood Whole Foods Market: to be vegans for 28 days.

I initially told them I'd start along with them -- but then I remembered that I had a birthday coming up, as well as a trip to San Francisco. So I wisely delayed my own vegan challenge until June 1 ... and then, I set about trying to convince my husband to do it with me.

And here's the amazing part: He agreed!

It's true that he accepted the challenge after our party had consumed a pitcher of sangria at San Francisco's Thirsty Bear Brewing Company. And the fact that our friends and family all placed bets on how long he would last probably contributed to his determination to stick with it. 

He's exceeded everyone's expectations: Our most optimistic friend gave him 14 days. Our own daughter got in on the action with an estimate of four days (which is better than the 24 hours I expected he'd be able to stick with it).

Having him try it with me has been a great help. While I was doing Lindora, meals were a pain to plan, because no one in the family was eating the same thing. But since starting the vegan diet, I've rediscovered the fun of cooking for the two of us again.

My daughter is a lost cause; at 15, she still has the palate of a toddler and will only eat a limited range of food. As the month has worn on, she has started worrying that at the end of the 28 days, we will remain vegans.

I don't think she has to worry about my husband, although I've been reminding him that eschewing all animal products is a surefire way to lower his cholesterol and keep it low.

I should mention that we're not doing the challenge the way Sarah and Yvonne did, which followed the guidelines laid down in Rip Esselstyn's spartan Engine 2 Diet, which advocates cooking vegan without added oils or fats. I've been using his book too -- but last week, the husband started complaining about a lack of variety... so I pulled out Tal Ronnen's vegan cookbook, The Conscious Cook.  These recipes are complicated and some are downright scary -- but oh my goodness, the results are tasty. And a little olive oil in your salad or atop your roasted veggies really makes a difference. 

My husband has lost a few pounds during this experiment, which makes sense because he does not have my dieting history. 

I have not lost any weight -- but I've not gained any, either. And most important to me is that I'm not feeling hungry or deprived. I can live with that.

Yes, I realize that  need to be more active. But while on the starvation diet, adding exercise to the mix increased my appetite to the point where I couldn't see straight enough to stick to the plan. Now that I'm trying to eat in a more natural (albeit limited) way, I shouldn't have that problem any more. This means the only excuse I have now is lack of time.

Baby steps.