Socal Mom by Donna Schwartz Mills

Sponsored Post: Dining With Friends

This post is sponsored by Serve from American Express. Sign up for Serve and receive $10 credit towards your first use. Comment below by December 31 within the next 7 days for your chance to win an extra $100 credit to your account!

Once a month during the school year, I go out to dinner with the other women in my carpool. I look forward to it -- and not only because it's one of the few opportunities I have to socialize with people who are not my family (not that I don't love my family! But you know what I mean).

Our kids are so independent now, this is really the only time I get to see these women (which is so different from the days when we hung around the kitchen during arranged playdates).

There was a little bit of an urgency to Tuesday night's dinner: We weren't able to make one happen in November, and with the holidays approaching quickly, we needed to DO IT NOW. 

"For some reason, I'm having trouble getting into the mood," my friend Amy said on the drive over. She fired up her holiday music playlist. Annie Lennox's dulcet voice on Winter Wonderland should have done the trick -- but it wasn't working.

The rest of us nodded in agreement. We all have reasons this year to be in December denial (for me, it's the renovation project that forced us to dismantle our entertainment system... it ain't Christmas for me until I've watched my DVD of Love, Actually two or three times).

We got a lot merrier as the evening progressed, and I credit the cocktails. We always go to the same restaurant: PF Chang's at the Sherman Oaks Galleria, because two of the women are vegetarian and they have wonderful veggie options there -- but you can still get cocktails. And let's face it: when moms get together, they're either drinking coffee or cocktails (depending on the time of day) -- which is why so many mom blogs use those drinks as themes.

I ordered a Coconut Lemon Sour, which sounds like a rum-based chi-chi type drink, but it's not: it's made with coconut vodka, coconut water and lemon juice -- which makes it refreshing and not overwhelmingly sweet. And since I wasn't driving, I had two of them.

I can't remember what the other women drank; all I know is that we had a great time talking about our kids, their school, our husbands -- and the fashion hits and misses of the people passing by the restaurant on their way to either the Magic Johnson gym or the ArcLight theatre.

(The center's office building houses some entertainment companies and the retail spaces include other restaurants, a discount shoe store, and a Burke Williams spa - so it attracts a really wide cross-section of Valleyites; making it a prime spot for people watching.)

Introducing Serve

But the real fun began at the end of the meal, when it was time to divvy up the check. Our dinner this month was sponsored by Serve, the new digital payments platform from American Express. It's a prepaid, rechargeable debit card with an accompanying smartphone app that makes it easy to send and receive payments (and split a restaurant bill, without having to do a lot of math or worry about counting cash).

We had all signed up for Serve and downloaded the app prior to our meal (which means we were each rewarded with a bonus $10 American Express is giving to everyone who sets up a Serve account before January 5, 2012 - plus, you can earn $5 for every person you refer  -- up to $50). 

The first thing we did was play with the send and receiving function - which was as easy as pushing a button on the smartphone app. Your available balance is easy to see in the upper left-hand corner... and if there's somewhat less in there than you remembered (an occupational hazard if you're using the card to pay for boozy dinners), the transaction function will quickly remind you about that happy hour you spent last week after the PTA meeting and show you any transactions that may still be pending (i.e., a silent auction bid that hasn't yet been accepted).

But Serve's killer app may be the Split the Bill function, where you input the total cost of the check, the number of people at the table and the percentage of tip you want to leave. Serve not only computes each person's share, but automatically sends them a request for it... and settles up quickly and easily. And it's comforting to know that by doing it through Serve, it's safe and secure.

There is also a Pizza Party function that operates on the same principle as Split the Bill -- only it figures out each person's share of one or more pizzas. I personally think that function is redundant, but I don't think I've ever tried to split the cost of pizza, so what do I know?

I noticed on the Serve website that there are a number of customizable widgets you can use for selling items online, crowd-funding and charitable fundraising. Those are functions I may explore further in the New Year.

You can also set up sub-accounts for your kids, which may be a good way to pay allowances. I may try that out, too.

All in all, I think Serve is a nice addition to my portfolio of personal finance tools (and we all know how much I need those!)

I can't wait for next month's dinner with the girls.

Remember to sign up for Serve and receive $10 credit towards your first use. Comment below by December 31 within the next 7 days for your chance to win an extra $100 credit to your account! Official sweepstakes rules and regulations may be found by clicking here. I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective, which endorses Blog With Integrity, as I do.

Sponsored Post: Cozy Holiday Comforts

This post is sponsored by Tempur-Pedic, the brand millions of owners trust to deliver their best night’s sleep every night. Enjoy our Buy 2, get 1 free pillow offer now and give the gift of custom comfort to someone you love.

People who didn't grow up in Southern California usually agree that they love our weather...

...until December hits, and they realize that "White Christmas" is said to have been written by a homesick Irving Berlin while visiting Beverly Hills. Out here, there are years when you're more likely to spend Christmas Day hanging by the pool than throwing snowballs (unless you have a home up in the mountains).

Those who grew up in colder climates don't find our warm weather very "Christmas-y."

 I don't know how the weather will turn out this December 25, but our rainy season seems to have begun -- and while temperatures in the 50's and 60's are not exactly what my husband grew up with at Christmas time, it's been cold enough to put ME in a holiday mood.

Whether it is tradition, advertising or something innate, the winter change of temperature puts me in the mood for nesting: I get the rare urge to clean the house, bring out the holiday linens and cozy throws -- and I dig up the recipes for my favorite homey, stick-to-your ribs soups and stews.

The Saturday the rain started, I made a simple lentil soup: three cups of rinsed lentils, cooked in three quarts of water for a couple of hours. I sauteed some chopped onions and carrots and added them to the soup 20 minutes before serving. It came out great -- but was even better for lunch on Sunday...

...after which, I made my favorite easy beef stew, a dish that cooks slowly in the oven over the course of three or four hours. This not only makes the kitchen feel warm and cozy, but smells fantastic.

My husband -- who has committed to a vegan lifestyle -- did not share that stew with us. I ended up roasting some potatoes and vegetables for him to eat alongside our meal. This has caused me a little stress as we head towards Christmas. I had to ask him if we needed to come up with a new holiday dinner tradition?

Fortunately, he's decided to make an exception on holidays (including Thanksgiving, when he plans to enjoy the delicious bounty of my sister's cooking). So this Christmas, our little family of three will enjoy our usual menu of roast chicken and potatoes, real English bangers, gravy, vegetables and Christmas pudding (we head down to Santa Monica each December so we can pick up traditional British holiday foods at Ye Old Kings Head Shoppe).

Here's hoping we don't find ourselves in the middle of a December heat wave. 

Comfort is the perfect gift for everyone on your holiday gift list, so be sure to take advantage of Tempur-Pedic's Buy 2, get 1 free pillow offer! I was selected for this sponsorship by the Clever Girls Collective.

The Joy of Cooking (The Despair of Eating)

Before you start reading this, a warning: I started this post as a paean to how much fun it is to cook and eat a nice meal -- but it quickly devolved into yet another woe-is-me whine about my stupid menopausal self. 

I can't help it. 

I have an assignment from AskPatty to cover the LA Auto Show, which opens to the press tomorrow -- and there is a dress code. Unfortunately, I have gained so much weight in such a short time that nothing fits, and I will likely spend most of the money I am earning from the assignment to purchase clothes. This will likely upset my husband, who is already furious with me for getting fat again.

I am crying as I type this, because I feel so helpless. And out of control. 

I know what I should be doing: Exercising (a lot!). Cutting calories. Cutting carbs.

But my to-do list the last few weeks has been long, and I decided to skip the gym while I try to catch up (at least, until I've finished my posts from the Auto Show).

More disturbing has been my complete inability to stick to any kind of diet. I feel hungry. ALL THE TIME. And the foods I am craving are exactly the ones that are adding to my misery. For years, I could take or leave sweets... but now, I am finding them impossible to resist. I know from experience that tomorrow, when I'm at the LA Convention Center, there will be lovely sweet temptations everywhere... and this year, I will probably give in.

The sad thing is, the last few days have been fun, because I've been cooking -- which was my creative outlet of choice before I started this blog. I think that's why I liked being a vegan this summer: It forced me to try a lot of new recipes.

Right now, I'm trying to navigate the intricacies of planning meals for my husband (who is sticking with the vegan regimen), my daughter (who only seems to like beef stew and roast chicken) and myself (feeling guilty no matter what I eat). 

I guess you could say I'm suffering from dietary schizophrenia. But now that I'm talking about cooking (and not the weight I gain from eating the results), I'm feeling a bit better.

I made this fabulous vegan stew over the weekend (which I found on the Whole Foods Market website). It was so flavorful and filling that even non-vegans will be satisfied.

Ethiopian Style Chickpea Stew

1 teaspoon sweet paprika 
1 teaspoon salt 
1/2 teaspoon ground allspice 
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper 
1/2 teaspoon ground cardamom 
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves 
1/2 teaspoon ground coriander 
1/4 to 1/2 teaspoon cayenne 
1/4 teaspoon ground fenugreek (optional) 
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger 
2 (15-ounce) cans no-salt-added chickpeas, rinsed and drained 
3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided 
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped 
1 medium red onion, chopped 
1 (1-inch) piece fresh ginger, peeled and finely chopped 
1 (8-ounce) can no-salt-added tomato sauce 
1 quart low-sodium vegetable broth 
1 pound red potatoes, cut into 1-inch chunks 
4 carrots, peeled and cut into 1-inch chunks 
Flatbread

Preheat oven to 450°F.

Stir together paprika, salt, allspice, black pepper, cardamom, cloves, coriander, cayenne, fenugreek (if using) and ginger in a small bowl; set spice mixture aside. 

Read the rest of the recipe on the Whole Foods website here.

DISCLOSURE: I have no affiliation with any of the companies listed in this post and received no compensation of any kind for writing it.

The Veggie Grill is a Great Place for Lunch -- Even If You're Not a Vegan

Earlier this year, I talked my husband into going on a vegan diet with me.

I did it because I'm trying to find a way to manage my weight without relying on packaged diet food (which I can no longer stomach). My husband did it out of concern for his cholesterol.

Over the last several weeks, I've lamented that my part of the experiment wasn't very successful, at least from the weight management side of things. I've ballooned up to a point that has me feeling unhappy and depressed.

There are lots of reasons for that, which I've covered in other posts... and will likely rant about again, because it's the biggest thing on my mind right now. 

But this week we learned that my husband's foray into veganism was wildly successful: After just four months, my husband's total cholesterol dropped about  50 points. 

"This doesn't look like a profile of the same man," the doctor said. 

Everything has radically improved: HDL cholesterol, LDL cholesterol, triglycerides, glucose levels. 

Veganism agrees with my husband. He feels better and has more energy. The only issue is occasional boredom, especially when we're dining out. It isn't easy to stick to a vegan diet in a restaurant, where the offerings usually end up being kind of bland.

Last weekend, we discovered a great casual spot with good, inexpensive vegan food that will please even the meat eaters in the family.

The Orange County Register named Veggie Grill  one of the area's best new restaurants when it debuted there a few years ago. Since then, the chain has expanded to seven locations, including its newest outpost, at the Los Angeles Farmers Market, which is where we were treated to a delicious lunch last Saturday.

The menu offers the kinds of things you would expect: sandwiches and salads, with plant-based proteins like quinoa, soy, nuts and gluten (all of which are optional -- the restaurant offers a guide to dishes for those who are allergic or sensitive to these items).

Fortunately, neither of us has food sensitivies, so we ordered the items we wanted to try:

I decided to start my meal with my favorite comfort food (which is also the dish that caused me the most trepidation): Macaroni and Cheese -- which of course, is not possible to make vegan if you're using classic egg-based pasta or actual cheese.

The elbow macaroni Veggie Grill uses is made of quinoa, which is gluten-free and protein rich... but it also gives it a tough texture and odd flavor ... or maybe that's the soy-based cheese sauce.

This dish wasn't bad -- but you'd never mistake it for the real thing. However, if I was to swear off "real" pasta and cheese sauce for the rest of my life (and I may come to that decision), this would help satisfy any lingering cravings for the stuff.

More successful were the sweet potato fries my husband ordered with his Papa Portobello Sandwich. The fries had a nice, crisp exterior and were served with a garlicky sauce that tasted to me like a spicy aioli (but is listed on the menu as Chipotle ranch dressing). Whatever it is, it was made without eggs or dairy (I believe it is soy-based).

My husband could not stop raving about his sandwich: a grilled portobello mushroom with gourmet toppings like caramelized onions, pesto and a pomodoro of fresh tomatoes, basil and garlic.

"It tasted great and was just a little spicy," he said, adding, "this is something I would easily have selected to eat in my former cave-man, meat-eating days."

(The rest of his comments -- which he added to my notes -- are not to be taken seriously. But I promised him I would include them in my review):

 

Without questioning, my gorgeous husband exclaimed "Extremely good". What a verification of this fine stores wares. He further offered that his burger was hot, the ingredients fresh and that it supplied a veritable cornucopia of juxtaposed tastes, with a hint of spice thrown in for good measure.

My wife asked me to talk about my buns. She had to clarify that it was the one that the server delivered rather than those on which I sit. The inside of the burger had a big juicy mushroom with a variety of delicately cut up vegetables inside."

 

This gives you an idea of what I live with.

My entree was a Baja Fiesta Salad: Chopped romaine, papaya, avocado, roasted corn salsa, quinoa, cucumber and tortilla strips, dressed with a vinaigrette of ginger and papaya.

It was delicious, refreshing and totally satisfying.

I probably should have ordered a dish that featured one of Veggie Grill's meat substitutes (branded Chillin' Chikin' and Veggie Steak), but I wasn't in the mood for that. I can tell you that while I was cooking vegan, I tried a number of vegan meatlike substitutes and discovered they were very tasty, and I have no doubt that the ones served here are similar. But I also sampled soy-based tempeh while I was vegan and did not care for that. I should probably return to Veggie Grill to see what they do with it, because judging from the dishes we did taste, I'm betting I will like it a lot better their way than the meals I tried to make with it.

Veggie Grill has a kid's menu and a nice selection of desserts, which we should have tried -- but to be honest, we were feeling kind of full after our entrees... and a little bit smug about it, because we knew that everything we ate was good for us. 

Besides -- it's always nice to leave something for your next visit, which I predict will be soon.

DISCLOSURE: I received no compensation for this post and made no promises that the review would be positive. I'm hoping the folks at Veggie Grill open a place here in the Valley so I can visit more often.

 

The Disappearing Act

In the course of nearly eight years of blogging, there have been periods where I've been largely absent from this space -- just because life gets in the way.

This month has been one of them.

Online, I've been busy with outside writing (my latest automotive review is live at AskPatty), outside projects (have you listened to the MOMocrats podcast I produce each week?), and other obligations (why do I bother to videotape things when it takes me such a long time to edit them)?

Off line, I've had a whole lot of personal issues to deal with. Stuff of house and home (some of you may have noticed a post where I talked about the ongoing money pit I am living in -- which I deleted after my family objected to bits of it. I still maintain that my house is trying to kill me). Sick kids. Sick relatives. 

And then, there's me.

Most of the posts I've published this year have focused on my weight, which I had managed to manage for a while, but can do no longer. My husband will deny this, but I think he's furious at me. I'm pretty upset with myself, too and have been obsessed with trying to figure out why what worked a couple of years ago is not working now.

The likeliest culprit is menopause.

I've been spending a good deal of time reading dietititan Ashley Koff's new book, Mom Energy -- not least of all because I got to go to a MomsLA sponsored luncheon for it... and because Ashley has kindly allowed me to interview her (not once, but TWICE) for our MOMocrats podcast.

(I took some video at the luncheon and will upload it here at some point. After I've edited it.)

Ashley is a dynamic, knowledgeable advocate for nutritious, balanced eating -- which is something I have not really done in a very long time. For several years, I've limited my intake of carbohydrates, because I noticed that my body did not seem to metabolize them very well any longer -- plus, I was like an alcoholic with a drink. Give me a slice of bread and I'll eat the whole loaf.

It was just easier to go without.

Eventually, it wasn't enough to just limit carbs. The Lindora weight loss diet I successfully finished four years ago was low-carb, low-fat AND low-calorie (600-800 a day). Plus, exercise.

That is what it took to lose 56 pounds.

But last year, the weight started creeping back on.

And then it started piling back on.

I rejoined Lindora. And the results were disappointing. All of the tricks that worked for me in 2007 failed in 2011.

On June 1, I decided to experiment with veganism.

I'm now almost as fat as I was when I embarked on this weight loss adventure. It makes me depressed, unhappy, guilty, frightened... and at a loss, because I haven't a clue what I should eat any longer. 

I mentioned this to Ashley Koff at our luncheon earlier this month. She compared my metabolism to an elastic band that's been stretched too many times -- eventually, it loses all its snap.

And her book has other insights: I knew that my metabolism would slow down with menopause, but I did not know that the same body changes make women feel hungrier (one explanation why I'm having so much trouble sticking with small portions now, when I did not before). 

Ashley's co-author, fitness expert Kathy Kaehler, describes the problems she had with the onset of menopause: "I went through a year of being achy, feeling bad, and gaining weight no matter what I did."  Now, this confession comes from a woman who is one of the country's foremost professional trainers. That gave me a little solace.

Until I got to the next bit: "I decided to test the limits of my physicality and charge up a hill on my mountain bike like a madwoman. It shocked my system, but it's exactly what I needed. I had to get my heart rate up so high that my body was forced to respond."

I already read the reports that middle aged women need to work out an hour a day just to maintain their weight, and I have been trying to ignore it, because I DON'T HAVE THE TIME. 

But I need to make the time.

Last week, I started walking again: about three miles each on Friday, Sunday and yesterday. That's hard to do here in the Valley, because it's all long, boring stretches of blocks with nothing very interesting to see (although on Sunday, I did my walk along Ventura Boulevard, which has a lot of cute little shops to look at). I'm trying to work myself up to where I can get through a workout at the gym. If I want to get this under control, I will have to work harder and longer than I ever have before.

And if that means I don't visit this space as often as I'd like, that's just the way it's going to have to be.

DISCLOSURE: I received no compensation for this post. I did receive a review copy and an autographed copy of "Mom Energy" at the luncheon, plus a bag full of healthy food products to try... all of which are now taking up space on my rump. Which is my own fault.