Socal Mom by Donna Schwartz Mills

Monday Musings and Missing iPods: My Kid at 15

A new day - a new week - and I'm determined to hunker down and get some things DONE.

I'm off to a good start: after weeks of complaining of being bogged down by the volume of email I receive, I vowed that I would not even look at my inbox until I'd crossed a couple of things off my to-do list.

This is counter-intuitive for me, as checking my email first thing in the morning is a habit I've had for over 20 years, and has replaced my old habit of reading the newspaper before I get any work done (a habit that only got worse during my Tonight Show years, when part of my job was to distribute half a dozen newspapers and magazines to the staff of writers... which I would read myself while they were using them to write the jokes I'd eventually have to type). 

But morning  - after I've had my first cup of coffee - is the time of day when I'm thinking most clearly, so spending two or three hours on email during this period is not the most productive way to use my time. It might be better if I can retrain myself to check email later in the day -- like, when I'm eating my lunch. 

Hence my determination to delay firing up my email program this morning...

...which lasted about 30 seconds. The flashing red light on my Blackberry was a silent siren that I could not resist.

So I compromised by checking just ONE email inbox and limiting the time I spent to one hour (and then settled for 90 minutes). However, that's just half the time I've come to spend on that task, so I feel like I'm ahead.

And I think I would have finished a lot earlier if I had not been reading my daughter's Facebook page to see who wished her a happy birthday yesterday.

She's 15 now and the celebration was very low-key... as in, we did next to NOTHING to commemorate it. She would not tell us what she wanted to do this year, so there was no party, no birthday lunch with friends, no spa day, no trip to Disneyland/Magic Mountain/Universal... NOTHING.

She also gave us very little guidance on a gift.

"Just get me an iTunes card," is all she offered when she was asked.

We wanted to do somewhat more than that -- especially after Thursday, when we received the disappointing news that she had been passed over for a scholarship to a foreign exchange program she'd hoped to attend this summer.

We knew it was a longshot going in: the scholarship was awarded to only five high school students (and it was a bit of a relief for us, as it would only have covered half the cost of the $7,000 program in Costa Rica). And we're both so very proud of her for taking the initiative, getting the required recommendations from teachers and counselors at her school, writing the essays and submitting to the personal interview.

And she did receive an honorable mention, which came with a $1000 credit toward the program. Unfortunately, $6,000 is still more than we can spend. 

She took the disappointment with maturity (a lot more than I ever display when I get bad news). She knows she can try again next year, and that she will be a stronger candidate now that she's been through the process once. I also think it's been a great introduction to the hoops she'll have to jump through to find college scholarships; now that she's done this process once, I hope she'll try some more. 

But more immediately... on her birthday, we wanted to give her a gift that indicated how proud we are and how much we appreciate her. But what?

I know we are more fortunate than some families. We have a nice home and food on the table, and there isn't anything my kid actually needs. 

"Perhaps a new phone?" I suggested, noting that the contract on the one she's using now is about to expire.

We toyed with that idea... until Friday, when we met Tim and Tanya for a pre-birthday lunch, and the girls started talking. Theirs is a family where every member has an iPhone, and I remarked that the one good thing that will come out of AT&T's acquisition of T-mobile is that I would finally have that option.

"I don't want an iPhone," my daughter announced. "I really like the phone I have now because it's so simple."

Well, I wasn't talking about getting her an iPhone - but the latter part of that statement was duly noted.

One thing she did want was a replacement for her iPod touch, which disappeared a couple of weeks ago -- the day we had new carpet installed in two of our bedrooms (including hers). She had made the mistake of leaving the device on her bed -- which had to be removed for the carpet... and she had come to the conclusion that it was stolen.

We'd been searching the house, high and low, and while I did not think it was lifted by one of the carpet guys, I had to agree that it seemed to be gone.

I had told her when she first noticed it was missing that her dad and I would not replace it -- even if it had been stolen. But now... in the absence of any other good ideas... I had changed my mind.

So on Saturday, my husband and I went back to the Apple Store (yes, the same one I camped out at for three hours for an iPad they ultimately did not have -- I've gotten over my anger at them now that I know that Apple launched the thing before they had sufficient supplies for their stores... I'm due to get mine on April 18).

The newest iPod Touch model has some cool features that weren't available on the one that was lost. It cost $229.  But for $70 more, we could give her a larger one, with a 32 gigabyte hard drive instead of just 8 GB. 

"You know, I would love to give her something nicer than her old one, rather than simply replacing it," I said.

Her dad agreed. 

While we were at it, we picked up a pretty Kate Spade cover for the new device.

"You realize - the minute we give this to her, the old one will show up," I told my husband. 

We stashed the items inside an old shopping bag from L'Occitane... so of course, when we presented it to Megan, she thought she was getting the gift of skincare.

The first thing she pulled out of the bag was the cover.

"Oh, THAT's great," she said, noting that it was kind of useless now that her iPod was gone.

Then she found the new device. The look on her face was priceless. 

She had homework to do yesterday, but she did not get started right away. She was having too much fun setting up her new iPod.

And last night, while I was searching for candles to put on her cake, I opened the junk drawer in the kitchen and what did I see?

That's right -- the missing iPod.

I don't remember stashing it there, but I do remember looking for it in the drawer and coming up empty. 

Maybe it was just meant to be.

My husband happily took possession of the Touch -- which just goes to show you how full circle we've come. We're now getting hand-me-downs from our kid.

Happy Birthday, Megan.

The California Games

I can't believe I began the summer lamenting that I wouldn't be taking any vacations this year.

Instead, I ended up planning several short road trips. The result: Plenty to write about -- but little time to do it!

I just got back from watching Megan compete in the California State Games, which is a kind of youth Olympics event, complete with young athletes marching in to witness the lighting of the torch. As the march-in was Friday night and her meet was Sunday afternoon -- and the event was in beautiful San Diego -- we made a weekend of it. My sister and her family planned a short stay in Mission Bay to coincide with it, so it was a full family affair...

...which means that breaking away to write was a near-impossibility. Hell, my husband and sister complained every time I glanced at the steady stream of email I was receiving on my Blackberry. You have no idea how much trouble they would have given me if I had gone hunting for a hotspot so I could write.

This is why I have not been online since Thursday afternoon (when the Internet in my home went down for several hours). As of this time last week, I was putting the finishing touches on part 1 of my post about our Las Vegas trip -- and promising to finish the half-done draft recounting our experiences in Palm Springs the previous week.

Those posts remain half-done drafts. And in three days, I am flying up to San Francisco for BlogHer.

Can you say "over extended"?

So... this blog will be taking a non-linear turn this week, as I jump around in time so I can catch up before BlogHer.

We'll start with the trip we just finished: San Diego.

I wish I had photos to show you of the opening ceremony for the California State Games. It really felt like the real deal. For one thing, it took place at Qualcomm Stadium. For another, there must have been thousands of youthful participants, as the march in to the stadium seemed to go on FOREVER. The really cool thing is that the entire proceeding was broadcast onto the stadium's jumbotron -- so I got to see the joyful expressions on the faces of my daughter and her teammates as they entered the field.

The reason I don't have photos is that I almost didn't make it to the Stadium on time, having opted to stay at a four-star Priceline-booked downtown hotel instead of the cheap Mission Valley inn on the trolley line, with the rest of the team. I had dropped Megan off with her coach so I knew she would arrive along with them -- but I wanted to have my own car so I could boogie when the whole thing was over.

The road leading to Qualcomm was bumper-to-bumper, and just as I got there, my cell phone froze on me. This put me into a panic: How was I going to find the other parents? How was I going to find my kid? I managed to get the phone working again by removing and replacing the battery -- but I was shaken. I was already at the ticket booth when I realized I'd left my camera in the car. I had no desire to run back to fetch it.

After what seemed like hours (I had NO IDEA there were so many kids who play softball - I don't think there was an empty field in all of San Diego last weekend!), the ceremony began with a drop-in by about a dozen Navy Seals... who literally parachuted onto the field, ending with one holding an American flag for the Star Spangled Banner. Yeah, it was kind of hokey -- but really cool at the same time. That was followed by some speeches about the value of youth athletic programs and some Gong-show ready entertainment.

The program ended with a pretty nice fireworks show.

Then came the ordeal of catching back up with our kids. As much time as it took for them to march IN to the stadium, finding them after the event took even longer. At least, it felt that way. It was nearly 10:00 p.m. by the time I had my daughter back -- neither one of us had eaten dinner. Fortunately, my sister and husband (who had driven down after work and was already relaxing with the family at their hotel in Mission Bay) were waiting for us. We phoned them a room service order and found a late dinner waiting for us when we caught up with them -- just in time to catch our second fireworks show of the night, emanating from nearby Sea World.

Saturday was our time to kick back, and we decided to do so at my sister's hotel. She and her family stayed at the Mission Bay Hilton, which is right on the bay, so it boasts a small beach, a dock where you can rent boats and jetskis, tennis courts, a spa -- and a fabulous pool (which was adjacent to a fabulous bar that serves truly fabulous pina coladas).

We figured we could get the best of both San Diego worlds by moving our party downtown for the evening. We dined on excellent tapas at Cafe Sevilla in the Gaslamp Quarter (which was within walking distance from our downtown hotel). The food was plentiful...and reasonably priced.

Sunday's gymnastics meet was a lot like any other... except that our team rocked! Megan and her friend Wesley both took first place All-Around prizes for their ages -- and the top three for most events featured at least one of our girls.

I would have pictures of this but for a nasty surprise when I turned my camera on: I must have dropped it somewhere, because I could not access any of the menus. Instead, all I could see was something that looked like a crack on the screen INSIDE the camera.

"Just go to the store where you bought it and get it fixed," my husband suggested.

The last time I tried that with a digital camera I was told it would cost nearly as much to fix as it would to buy a new one. It is also extremely unlikely that, should it be reparable, I could have it back before I go to BlogHer on Thursday. At any rate, future posts will be without photos for the foreseeable future.

It's a good thing I got some in on the half-finished posts that will be going up BEFORE I get to San Francisco.

Happy Birthday, Megan!

Today, you are 12 -- and for the first time in a dozen years, I am not there to celebrate with you.

So I hope your dad will find this post today and show it to you, because -- especially today -- I want to tell you what an amazing person you are growing up to be.

I love your sense of humor: You see what's truly funny about the world we live in and the people we share it with.

I love your sense of fair play. You don't tolerate cheats or cruelty. You don't play stupid girl games.

I love your intelligence. You are one smart kid.

I love your athleticism. You amaze me with your derring-do.

In fact, you have amazed me every day for the last 12 years.

Happy Birthday, baby girl. I'm having fun with all my mommy blogging friends... but I can't wait to get home to you.

My First YouTube

I still haven't found a camera to replace the one that broke. I think I want too much. I need something that is small enough to fit in a handbag so I can whip it out when I see something I want to snap. Because I want to carry it with me, it must be tough (the husband is convinced the old camera broke because I stopped using its case and have been keeping it with me in my purse; of course, that's the reason I suddenly started taking more spontaneous photos). I don't really care about the megapixels; for my purposes, the 5MP of my broken camera were adequate.

What I do want is a better zoom (most of the point and shoot cameras only give you a 3x optical zoom; of course, a lot of that has to do with size and lens), less shutter lag... and I don't want to spend a lot of money.

The Panasonic Lumix model I saw at Costco comes closest to what I'm looking for, but it's not perfect. For one thing, it's larger than I would prefer (but it has a 10x zoom). I can live with its size and the fact that it's not the most attractive camera I've ever seen, and the price is right: $179. But it has a drawback that might be categorized as a deal killer: There's no viewfinder. And the camera reviews I read stated that the image represented on its LCD screen are not accurate. So this camera would take some time to get used to.

A number of friends and family members have suggested other models that look good, but are lacking in other areas (such as that pesky zoom thing I've gotten hung up on). I'm afraid that I can only get the features I want in a camera like the one the husband got for his birthday, or an SLR -- and I'm not willing to spend THAT kind of money on this (nor would those cameras be easy to carry around in a handbag).

So I've put off the decision. And attended Megan's meet on Saturday armed with our video camera. And discovered that with this new computer, I finally have the capacity to easily play with video capture (there simply wasn't enough hard disk space to work with on my previous notebook).

So yesterday, I finally came late to the YouTube revolution. Here's my beautiful daughter on Floor, Vault and Bars. This was NOT her best performance (I decided to leave the Beam out entirely), and you will have to put up with my crappy camera skills (I blame it on camcorder design and my left-handedness -- it's just hard for me to hold and access the controls with my right hand). But it should give you an idea of what $330 per month plus meet fees and coach expenses is buying us:

I'd Like to Thank the Academy...

Wow. The Oscars are finally over.

I've blogged before about how irritating it is that everything that is broadcast "live" is only tape delayed here on the West Coast - even events that originate here. There are a few exceptions: one is the Super Bowl. The other is the Academy Awards.

Thank goodness they started at 5:30 p.m.! What were they -- one hour longer than scheduled this year? Does anyone out on the East Coast stay up for the whole thing? I don't think I could. By their 9:30 finish, I was ready.

As for the awards themselves -- I wasn't unhappy. This is the first year in a long time when I actually got to see a couple of the nominated films ("The Queen," and "Little Miss Sunshine.") It was great to see Scorsese finally win. I felt bad for Eddie Murphy and Peter O'Toole, but happy for Alan Arkin and Forrest Whittaker. Jennifer Hudson and Helen Mirren were amazing in their nominated roles. I  enjoyed the montages about the movies -- especially the tribute to the screenwriter. I know. I'm weird that way.

We had a busy weekend, starting on Friday with Megan's gymnastics meet in San Diego. Documenting her accomplishments on film is a challenge -- you can't use the flash while the competition is on (it could affect the athletes' ability to see what they're doing) and the light is frequently poor. That's one of the reasons my husband gave me for buying his cool new camera. So now, he's experimenting. On Friday, he thought he would try setting it for the fastest speed he could, so he could try and capture her in action. The results were very grainy (which he expected) and he wasn't happy with this photo -- but I include this photo because I was amazed to see how high Megan's jump on the beam actually is. (And Megan says she didn't jump as high as usual!)

She was scored an 8.95 on beam, which I thought was pretty good -- especially as she's only been competing at this level for a couple of months. She went home with third place medals in beam and floor... and looked happier than any of tonight's Oscar winners (even Marty Scorsese).