Socal Mom by Donna Schwartz Mills

Back to School: Homepages for Homerooms

As many of you know, I'm a longtime member of the Yahoo! Motherboard, the online portal's community of mom bloggers. I'm also a public school parent, and have written a number of times -- both here and on the political site, MOMocrats -- about the effect of declining budgets on our kids' schools.

So I wholeheartedly support Yahoo!'s latest promotion: Homepages for Homerooms, where they have partnered with DonorsChoose (another organization I support) to donate up to $200,000 to classroom projects around the country -- at no cost to me, or you.

Participation is simple: All you have to do is visit the Homepages for Homerooms page and vote for a classroom project by making Yahoo! your home page. Each week of the promotion (through October 16), Yahoo! will donate $25,000 to the project that receives the most votes. 

Best of all, by clicking on the Homepages for Homerooms link on my blog, your vote gets tripled the privilege of being part of the Yahoo! Motherboard family. The current leaderboard features projects from two of my local Los Angeles schools; I applied my votes to one of them. 

Pretty easy.

DISCLOSURE: My relationship with Yahoo! does not involve monetary compensation. My involvement with this program is uncharacteristically altruistic -- if a private company is making funds available for education, I want to see my local schools get a piece of it.

The Mom Blogging Community Shows Its Tender Side

This blog is very dear to me.

What started out as an experiment in journaling ended up connecting me to an expanding world of intelligent, engaged, fascinating people. Most of them are mothers like myself -- but not all are moms (or women, for that matter). 

This is a message I feel I need to repeat often, and not just because of the reputation the mom blogging community has earned over the years. As I've found myself torn between satisfying for-pay freelance obligations and producing content for MOMocrats, I've had less and less time to devote to my personal blog...

...to the point where I don't have much brain power left to write the kind of thoughtful posts I aim to publish here.

In fact, there are some weeks where all I do at SoCal Mom is satisfy commercial obligations -- which is not all that satisfying to me (nor, I suspect, to you).

Mentioning this prefaces the warning that I have a couple of these kind of pieces lined up (some of which have been sitting unfinished in my posting queue for a good six weeks). 

I know I should just say no, but sometimes a pitch tickles me so much that I want to see if there's any truth to it. At the time, I think it can lead into something fun to write (and read).  And sometimes, it actually does.

But I fear that hasn't been the case lately.

I feel that I must be an addict, because even with 90% of the pitches ending up in my trash folder, I still have more review posts than I'm able to handle.

I tell you this as a warning for what's to come the rest of the week. But I don't feel like talking about that today. Today, I want to talk about what's good and generous and creative about the community I'm so proud to be part of.

Last week, while I was writing my breathy little recaps of the swaggy bonanza known as BlogHer, a writer in one of my circles suffered a horrible tragedy: Jennifer Perillo, who writes the food blog In Jennie's Kitchen, suddenly lost her husband of 16 years. 

I'm connected to Jennie through the Yahoo! Motherboard. The response to this news from the 100+ writers in that group was immediate. Everyone wanted to know what they could do for Jennifer and her family. And last Wednesday, she responded with an idea for a tribute to her beloved husband.

Mikey's favorite dessert was peanut butter pie. Jennie had been meaning to bake one for him. She decided that she would go ahead and do so on Friday. She also published the recipe and asked her friends in the blogging community to bake it in his honor that day.

And so they did. A Google search last night on the terms "pie for Mikey" turned up pages and pages of results, even showing up on both the Food Network and food blog at CNN. 

My husband and I have been vegan for nearly two months -- and on top of that, no one in our family likes peanut butter. So as nice as the gesture would have been, it would have been a waste to make the pie. But that has freed me up to read the posts of my colleagues and friends -- which is hard to do without crying.

From Ilina, at Mommy Niri Cares:

"I have spent many nights with Jennifer, listening to the twinkly lilt of her voice when she spoke of Mikey, as she affectionately called him... To Jennifer, food is love. She feeds her soul by cooking and nourishes those she loves with meals and treats that range from decadent to simply divine."

From Glennia, at The Silent I:

"This news sent me reeling back to a few months ago, when my own husband, Frank, faced open heart surgery.  He is nearly fully recovered now, all the better for having been to hell and back to repair a genetic heart defect...I now realize what a luxury it was to be braced for the idea that Frank might not make it. Jennifer didn't have the opportunity to steel herself against the possibility that Mikey might not be there for Sunday dinner, or to enjoy his favorite pie with them one more time. Both Frank and Mikey are a reminder of how fragile our hearts are, and though they can mend, sometimes they break beyond repair."

From Akemi, at Chalk and Cheese Chronicles:

"If only there were a bake shop where we could share a favorite dessert with the ghosts of the people we once loved. Jennie's Bake Shop lives on, in creamy peanut butter pies being served up to loved ones across the country. What a gift she has given to us all."

From Robyn at Who's The Boss:

"Jennifer  could be me.  Or you.  Maybe she is you.  Maybe she's joined your club losing someone who was too young to leave the world.  Or maybe, she's what you fear most: losing the people who are closest to you and not believing that you'd be able to breathe let alone move on with your life."

From Yvonne in LA:

"There are so many things I take for granted. But the most obvious lately is my smart, kind, adorable husband...I want him to know that I really do appreciate everything he does for us. That I miss him when we’re not together and that when we are, I love his company. I want him to know that I love him more every day."

We all understand how one life touches so many others. The Internet magnifies that a thousandfold. 

My Big Time Car Launch Experience (And the Yahoo! Ripple of Kindness)

I am exhausted.

Who knew that two days of being wined and dined in luxurious surroundings could be so tiring?

I am juggling multiple deadlines right now -- but am trying not to allow several days to go past without posting here at SoCal Mom (which is what usually happens when I get bogged down by actual WORK - even when it's work I enjoy). So I'm typing this all out very quickly, without a lot of thought. I will probably regret this in the morning, but so be it.

ALSO: My impressions of driving the car are under embargo until Monday - so this post will deal only with my first experience of participating in a major automobile launch event. Besides, that's the subject of my eventual post at AskPatty.com.

My day began with a 5:00 A.M. wakeup call -- and ended with a long communal dinner that concluded at 9:00 PM. And in between, I learned a lot about the new car and its technological features, drove about 300 miles (including some off roading), was fed way too well...

...and got to observe these guys:

Prior to our departure this morning, all the participants had to sign a release form, which is standard operating procedure when you're part of an event that a company may be photographing for publicity purposes. However, this release made mention of lions, and tigers and bears. I thought it was a joke.

Obviously, it was not. The off-road portion of the day was located on a preserve for rescued big cats (called: Lions, Tigers and Bears). They were feeding the big cats when my car arrived. I declined the offer to help with the feeding (I actually think they were kidding)...

...but after I'd finished my own lunch and my driving experience, I went back to take pictures of the cats and read their stories. Some of these poor animals had been badly abused before ending up at this compound, which is a state licensed non-profit charity -- and an expensive one to run. One of the volunteers told me that just feeding the animals costs $45,000 per month.

Now, as a member of the Yahoo! Motherboard, I am participating in their Ripples of Kindness campaign for the holidays. Just before I left for San Diego, I cashed a $100 check Yahoo! sent me, with instructions to use it to do something nice -- anything I wanted. Some of the Motherboard members have bought coffee and doughnuts for random strangers, blankets for homeless people they have met, books for children... basically, we can do anything we want in the effort to start a ripple of good deeds, and see where it leads.

I've been racking my brain trying to figure out what I should do - and after talking to the volunteers at the animal preserve, I had my answer. Those beautiful, rare, exotic animals were fortunate to have this home. I wanted to help them keep it.

I handed one of the volunteers my $100 in cash, and the look on her face made it so worth it.

It was a good day.

DISCLOSURE: I received no compensation for this post, other than the warm feeling I got donating Yahoo!'s money to Lions, Tigers and Bears.

 

The Problem With Nutritional Guidelines

 This month's Yahoo! Motherboard topic is Teaching Kids Healthy Eating Habits. I'm afraid I'm going to veer a bit from that focus -- because how can I teach my own child when I am struggling so much for myself?

My weight is getting dangerously high again. I can still squeeze into my size 2 Lucky Brand jeans -- but just barely. And in the evening, I find myself longing for the next size up.

Back In the Saddlebags

It could be worse: When I started my weight loss journey, I had just outgrown size 14. I'm terrified of being in that place again. I'm feeling helpless to stop it.

I'm back on the Lindora products I used when I was making daily visits to the weight loss clinic -- but I'm not being as diligent as I was when I had to answer to a nurse/counselor who would give me hell if the scale did not move in a downward direction each day of the program. I've not made the commitment to eat the stuff at dinner. And yes, if I had my druthers, I'd only eat fresh, natural, organic foods -- which is what I'd prefer for my daughter. But as I seem to have a problem with portions... and choices... and finding the right balance, I'm back to eating this cardboard tasting stuff for most of my meals.

I don't want to give up my morning latte (too many carbs in the milk) or a glass of wine in the evening (again, carbs).

I know what to do. I just don't do it.

If I had the money, I would gladly sign back up with the clinic for the counseling (not to mention the daily B12 shots that made it easier to live on 600 calories a day). I'm just grateful that I did make that move back when we had some disposable income. Now, I have to do this on my own - and unfortunately, I don't have a great track record for that.

I realize I have a bad relationship with carbohydrates. I love them - but I'm like an alcoholic. I can't eat just a half-cup of pasta; I won't stop until I've consumed the whole pot.

I should also get back into the habit of working out on a more or less daily basis. Now that Megan is back in school full time (hooray!), this should be easier.

Of course, now that it's September and the holidays are looming, sticking to a diet is going to be painful. But, as I've learned over the past two years, there is NEVER a really good time to start a diet. There will always be yummy temptations around, and once a body has hit 184 pounds, there are lots of physical reasons why it will want to go back. I can't let that happen.

Individual Body Types Have Individual Nutritional Needs

One of the other lessons I've learned on this weight loss journey is that when it comes to dietary requirements, one size definitely DOES NOT fit all. We still understand very little of the complex processes the human body utilizes to turn fuel into energy (or fat). If losing weight was a simple matter of mathematics (expend more calories than you consume), it would not be so difficult. 

If body chemistry was not permanently altered after weight loss, keeping it off would not seem so impossible. Again, I need to not only restrict my carbs, fat and calories again -- I need to find time for working out. This was easier three years ago, when I was being paid to blog about my weight loss regimen and so could more easily carve out the time I needed to hit the gym. Since the recession affected our family budget, it's hard to break away from (computer based) activities that earn money. This has to change.

Balancing My Needs With That of My Family

So I know what I have to do, and while it may not sound so difficult to you, I find it daunting... especially when I factor in the meal planning I'm supposed to do for the rest of the family.

I LOVE good food. I used to enjoy cooking it -- but only because of the pay-off of getting to eat the meal when it's finished. While I was on Lindora, there were several nights a week when my family lived on frozen food and takeout because I did not have the willpower to cook them a nice meal and then eat my nasty Lindora "spaghetti dinner."

In the meantime, I can take heart in the knowledge that at 14, my daughter is able to make dietary decisions of her own. She has seen "Supersize Me" and Jamie Oliver's demonstration of what actually goes into a chicken nugget. She is not a big fan of fast food.

She doesn't always make good choices. Her own diet is heavy on carbs and I have to remind her to include some protein in her lunch - but at her young age, that may be appropriate. She doesn't love most vegetables, but makes up for that by consuming lots of fresh fruit. Her tastes are slowly becoming more sophisticated -- there may come a time when the healthier choices I'd like her to make will taste good to her, too.

The good news: I do NOT need to lose 56 pounds. I know my husband and daughter do not want to see me get to that point again. Losing the extra weight I've packed back on doesn't mean they will have to suffer for several months, as they did the first time.

The bad news is that I've made this vow about five times over the last year, and each time, I've given up and watched my weight tick up a little bit higher.

That does not mean I am going to just give up and let it happen. The only way to lose this battle is to stop trying. Here we go again.

Here is what some of my Yahoo! Motherboard colleagues are saying about instilling healthy eating habits in our kids:

• Coast2Coast Mom: Instilling Healthy Eating Habits
• It's All About Balance: Balancing School Lunches
• Chef Druck: Pork Loin Stuffed with Sausage and My Personal Food Revolution (*NOTE: This may be the wrong time for ME to read her recipe, but it looks fairly low in carbs - so I will try it out after I've lost a few)
• Dirt & Noise: Livid About Lunchables
• Bonggamom: How to Make a Peanut BETTER Sandwich

Back To School Too Soon

This month's topic for the Yahoo! Motherboard is Back to School, a topic I've been forced to think about a lot earlier... and harder... than I'd like.

My daughter's new high school is breaking away with the rest of LAUSD and commencing the new school year on MONDAY.

This means that my poor daughter had the shortest summer break of her life (just about six weeks).

She's taking it all in stride.

I'm the one who's panicked.

After all, it's high school.

We attended the new school's freshman orientation yesterday. The data shared with us during the opening assembly was impressive...

...but my mood quickly deteriorated during the school tour portion of the event.

The students leading the tours were apologetic. They told us that the school was unprepared for the number of families that actually showed up: In past years, they said, they only ever filled half the bleachers in the gym.

Yesterday, it was standing room only.

At the end of the tour, the kids and parents had to stand in lines to (a) obtain the students' class schedules, (b) obtain their lockers, (c) fill out Title I forms and (d) purchase gym uniforms. This was pure chaos, as it was unclear which line was which and what was expected to be done first.

The two-hour planned event was closer to three.

I was also dismayed to hear reference of a student-parent handbook that we were supposed to have received in the mail. None of the families in our group could recall getting one. My guess is that it's on some LAUSD schedule and we will be receiving it AFTER our August 16 start date (but before September 13, when most of the rest of the district begins the school year).

My friend Henry managed to get his hands on one in the administration offices, and was kind enough to scan and email it to the rest of us. That's a good thing, because it contains forms that our kids are expected to bring filled out on Monday.

It also has includes a "Condom Availability Release Form," which explains that for public health reasons, condoms are available free to any student who wants them (and parents can opt out of the program).

Is it any wonder I'm feeling nostalgic for her first day of Kindergarten?

DISCLOSURE: This post has been edited since its original publication. I was not compensated to write this post.